Guruthos
by Sati Lotus
Summary: A very young Legolas struggles to cope with the death of his mother. *Finshed*
1. Watching the Squirrels

Disclaimer: Legolas and Thranduil belong to JRR Tolkien not me. Other characters mentioned are figments of my imagination and nothing more.  
  
Summary: A very young Legolas is struggles to cope with the death of his mother.  
  
Author's Notes: I'm not going to lie - my elvish is pretty shoddy. But this is a awesome site to help with that. I insist you check it out if you have an interest in elvish.  
  
http://www.geocities.com/almacq.geo/sindar/sdintro.html  
  
Bits of Elvish that I Use (with eternal thanks to the Sindarin Dictionary Project)  
  
Adar - father  
  
Ada - daddy  
  
Naneth - mother  
  
Nana - mummy  
  
Titenlaeglass - little green leaf  
  
Cormamin niuve tenna' ta elea lle au' - My heart shall weep until it sees thee again (erm...I think that's right - if not tell me!)  
  
Seeing as there is little information on Legolas's personal history I thought that I might make up a bit for my own entertainment and enjoyment. I hope you enjoy it too. By all means review. Constructive criticism is very welcome! It can only improve my writing. I generally strive to be historically accurate in my writing as well so if you spot any mistakes I will fix them right up.  
  
As I have no idea if Legolas has any relatives other than Thranduil, I made up his brother and sister's names as well as that of his mother. They have simple meanings behind them. If you're at all curious - email me and I'll be more than happy to tell you.  
  
Briefly, this is the family tree I've made:  
  
Thranduil ~ Melethmir (nicknamed Melethril by Thranduil)  
  
Doronorn Orchalorn Silagilgalad Lhendglir Bellass Bainalfirin Legolas  
  
And on with the actual story.  
  
ooOOoo  
  
Watching the Squirrels  
  
Legolas Greenleaf, the youngest son of Thranduil the King of the Elves of Northern Mirkwood, watched the squirrels in the trees through the window, his eyes wide in wonder as he watched their playing. He watched as they jumped from tree to tree with ease, their furry tails streaming behind them. He smiled eagerly and twisted in his chair to get a better look at them, his hands gripping the back of his chair, his body tense with excitement. He whined forlornly like a puppy as they departed from his view.  
  
"Legolas, turn around and eat your breakfast."  
  
Legolas sighed dejectedly and sat down properly, looking at his mother, Melethmir. "Nana, can I go out and play?" he asked hopefully, his eyes wide and pleading. She glanced at him quickly then focused on her own breakfast. "Once you have finished your breakfast you may." Legolas furrowed his brow. That was not what he the reply sought after. He tried again with his request. "Please Nana? Can I go out to play? It's such a pretty day..."  
  
Melethmir looked at him, one of her delicate eyebrows raised with bemusement. "Did I not just tell you that once you had finished your breakfast that you could?" Legolas squirmed. "But I want to play! Not eat!" he whined. Melethmir tittered then left him to eat his food. Legolas scowled and poked at his food, having no desire to eat it. He glanced over at his sister Bainalfirin and wondered how she would respond if he flipped a fig at her head. That way at least his food would go more rapidly.  
  
His older sister Lhendglir glanced at him and hid a smile. All the rest of Thranduil and Melethmir's children were far older than Legolas, he was quite the spoiled baby of the family. Thranduil could deny him nothing and Melethmir lavished attention on him. She also adored her youngest sibling. Though sometimes he could try one's patience.  
  
She noticed a dark smudge on his arm and frowned faintly. That identical patch of dirt had been there yesterday. She heaved a sigh and nudged him, distracting him from pitching figs at Bainalfirin. "Legolas did you have a bath last night?" Legolas shrank down in his chair, glaring at her and hoping his parents couldn't hear her. "No ..." he said slowly. Lhendglir wrinkled her nose in disapproval. "And I'll wager that you did not have one before breakfast either." Legolas sank lower in his chair, nearly disappearing under the table. "Not as of yet," he mumbled as he virtually fell off his chair.  
  
Melethmir turned around yet again and pulled him up, patience starting to wear thin. "Eat your breakfast." He slid down again. She looked at him infuriated. "You are not going outside until you do." Legolas moaned. "Nana! I want to go outside now!" He glanced out the window, the squirrels were back, and tormenting him it seemed now. He gave up on his mother, as she obviously was not going to bend to his demands. He turned to his father instead. "Ada, can I go outside to play? Please?"  
  
Thranduil tried to keep a stern face as Legolas looked at him expectantly. He had six other children and all of them tried that same trick on him on him at one point or another in their youth. If Melethmir said no then they begged him. Melethmir shook her head in amusement having seen her other children try this trick and knowing how her husband would respond. Thranduil pretended to mull over the child's request. "Well," he mused, "I do not know Titenlaeglass. Have you eaten your breakfast?"  
  
Legolas wriggled, wondering at all the fuss over his eating habits. "Not yet. I'll eat it after I go outside and play!" Legolas was rather keen on that plan. He would go outside then they would forget about breakfast with any luck. Thranduil laughed at the child's cunning. "But then it will be dinner." Legolas's brow furrowed as he tried to think of another way to get away from the table and outside. Doronorn smiled at him. "Might as well give up Legolas. This is a battle you simply cannot win."  
  
Legolas glared at him then at his plate. I don't want food - I want to play outside he thought sulkily. His sister Silagilgalad smiled playfully at Lhendglir. "Who do you think will win the war of Legolas and the bath then?" Lhendglir smiled and snuck a peek at her youngest brother as he scowled at the food on his plate. "Well I would be inclined to say the bath. Unless he wishes to look as unkempt as a dwarf." Legolas tried to ignore their mockery, wishing dreadfully that they would stop harping on about it. His father frowned on dirty elves according to his mother. Bellas smirked as Legolas dared a peek at his father, trying to judge his reaction to the news that he was a little unclean that morning. "A dwarf? I think he smells more like an orc than an elf prince."  
  
Legolas's resolve to ignore their teasing vanished. He whirled to look at Ballas, outraged at the insult. "I smell of nothing of the sort Bellas! I think that your sense of smell is not truthful at all." Ballas opened his mouth to retort but Thranduil silenced him with a swift glare as Legolas scrunched up his face, ready to throw a childish fit of temper. Melethmir pointed at his plate to divert him. "Eat half of it and you may go outside Legolas."  
  
Legolas instantly forgot about his temper tantrum and looked at his plate, concluding he could agree to that deal. He shoveled as much food as possible into his mouth, keen to go outside. He promptly started choking. Silagilgalad expressed amusement as he spat the food out back onto his plate. "Well that will teach you to not eat so much so fast," she scolded affectionately. Lhendglir grimaced, shaking her head. "Such prince like behaviour," she said dryly.  
  
Melethmir shook her head and pushed his glass toward him. "Here - drink it slowly." Legolas grabbed the offered drink and gulped it down nosily. Thranduil shook his head, watching his sputtering son with amusement. Legolas calmed down and glanced out the window, smiling proudly at his mother. "Can I go out now?"  
  
Melethmir glanced at his plate. He hadn't actually eaten much - merely choked on it and spat it out again. She raised an eyebrow. "You have hardly eaten and you are all dirty still…" she trailed off, looking uncertain. Legolas stared at her, aghast at the notion that she might not permit him to play yet.  
  
Panicking, he appealed to his father "Ada! Please may I go out? Please? I swear I'll have a bath tonight if I can! I'll even wash behind my ears! I promise!" Thranduil chuckled. "Well that is a relief indeed. I would not want a son that reeks like an orc in my house" He waved his hand. "Fair enough. Off you go Titenlaeglass. But will I be expecting a proper young prince in your seat tonight, not a stinking little dwarf."  
  
Legolas scrambled off his chair as his family rose to see him out. "I'm not a dwarf," he said cheekily as he paused at the door, "Ballas is the dwarf." He darted outside before Ballas could get a chance to insult him again this morning. Ballas smiled good naturedly.  
  
Melethmir chuckled as they sat down to finish off their breakfast. She looked at Thranduil, shaking her head in amusement. "We spoil that child you realise," she said matter of factly. Thranduil glanced up at her and smiled affectionately. "And you would not have it any other way Melethril." She smiled in agreement and kissed his cheek. "Nor would you." The family finished their breakfast in peace without the youngest member's interrupting antics.  
  
It was after breakfast when Melethmir decided she wanted to go out into the woods for a stroll before attending her other duties as queen. She waved to Thranduil across the room as she walked out. He was already busy with various officials, all demanding his attention. He smiled at her apologetically, knowing she understood. They had been married for centuries - she was use to his frequently divided attention. Melethmir walked outside into the sunshine and smiled as it warmed her face. No wonder Legolas had been so eager to get out and play she mused, looking around for him. She spied him in the treetops, fearlessly leaping from one branch to another chasing after squirrels. She smiled lovingly, her heart burning with love for her youngest child as she stepped off into the forest. As she roamed through the woods her thoughts wandered. She became so lost in her thoughts that she didn't notice the spiders trailing her until too late. She heard a noise behind her andthat caught her attention, causing her to turn around. She screamed.  
  
Guards heard her cries for help but by the time they reached her it was too late. The spiders had killed her. The pair of guards were distraught and angry. Melethmir, Queen of the Elves of Northern Mirkwood was dead. They would have the grim duty to present her body to their king.  
  
They encountered Doronorn before they found Thranduil. Doronorn cried out in horror at the sight. He looked at the body of his mother, pained. "By the Valar! How did this happen?" he demanded. The guards glanced at each other, troubled. "We merely heard her cry for help - we were too late though," they told him sadly. Doronorn looked away, fighting back tears. He had to find his father to tell him the tragic news. 


	2. Shock

Review by all means. A girl likes to know if she should keep going with a good thing or give up on a bad thing.  
  
oooOOOooo  
  
Shock  
  
Thandruil stared in horror at the body of his beloved wife, as she lay motionless on stretcher before him. He could not comprehend this. She was dead. His beloved wife, Melethmir was dead. When Doronorn had come to him and told him there was bad news he had not for a second thought that this could possibly have been it. He thought that perhaps Legolas had tumbled out of a tree; he tended to be a little excitable. Never in his darkest dreams had he thought that this might occur. Not to his Melethril. Sorrow clouded his vision for a moment and he gripped the table for strength.  
  
He reached out and touched her face tentatively as if afraid he might wake her. He bowed his head, grief and anger threatening to overwhelm him. He could hear his elder sons nearby, talking miserably amongst each other, swearing revenge. He could hear his daughters weeping. He turned to face his two elder sons, Orchalorn and Doronorn. Doronorn gazed at him with a grim, saddened face. "We will avenge her death Adar. I swear it."  
  
Thranduil nodded wearily at the vow. "I do not doubt you Doronorn. I pray you find the beasts that did this to her and deal with them swiftly." Doronorn nodded and looked to Orchalorn and Bellass, wanting to leave that minute. Thranduil shook his head, not wanting them to leave. "But not now. Wait until after -" His words caught in his throat and he was unable to continue, so great was his sorrow.  
  
Silagilgalad rose and took her younger sisters by the hands and looked at her brothers. "Come. We should leave our father for a little while to be alone with Naneth." As she led them past their father, she glanced at him. "Someone is going to have to tell Legolas."  
  
Thranduil closed his eyes in pain. He bowed his head and glanced at her sorrowfully. "I will tell him." Silagilgalad simply nodded and led her siblings away. Thranduil raised his head and looked outside, knowing Legolas was out there, no doubt playing happily in the trees and gardens surrounding his home, unaware of what had transpired.  
  
Legolas eyed the tree branch and narrowed his eyes, his little body tense with deliberation as he estimated the width of the jump. He braced himself and leapt. He smiled proudly as he landed softly on the branch with nary a sound. He stood up straight and looked for another branch to jump to. He was pretending to be a squirrel. A squirrel jumped from tree to tree with ease and now so was he. He was having great fun. He looked down and saw his father observing him. He smiled brightly and waved. He scuttled down the tree a little then stopped a few feet above his father's head. "Hello Ada!"  
  
Thranduil smiled sadly at his son "What are you doing up in those trees Titenlaeglass?" Legolas smiled brightly "I am a squirrel, jumping through the trees!" He braced himself for another jump. "Watch Ada!"  
  
Thranduil smiled slightly as Legolas leapt to a tree branch a few feet away. "Well does the little squirrel want to come down?" Legolas considered carefully. He was a little hungry now; perhaps he would finish his breakfast now. Or perhaps there was something nicer than breakfast on offer here. He smiled slyly. "Will the squirrel get a treat if he does?" Legolas was surprised by the sudden pained look on his father's face.  
  
"Ada?" he said uncertainly, sensing something was wrong. Thranduil looked at him sadly. "Come out of the tree Legolas." Legolas frowned anxiously. His father only called him Legolas when he was in trouble. Otherwise he was always Titenlaeglass. He thought back, replaying that day's event in his mind. Had he done something wrong? Mayhap his father was annoyed with him for not eating his breakfast or having a bath. He leaned down a little, trying to figure out if he was in strife. "What's wrong Ada?"  
  
Thranduil gazed up at his youngest song, tears in his eyes. "Please Titenlaeglass. Come out of the tree." Legolas frowned, very troubled now despite being called his pet name. His father was distressed about something. "Ada?" He leapt to the ground and his father caught him before he hit the ground. Legolas wrapped his small limbs around his father and buried his face in his shoulder "Ada? What's wrong?" he mumbled against his father's shoulder.  
  
Thranduil rested his head against Legolas's little one. "My Titenlaeglass," he sighed. He looked around, suddenly uncertain that his legs would hold his own weight. He sought out a bench and sat on it. Legolas pulled back his head distressed, feeling a knot form in the pit of his stomach. His father was troubled. Legolas did not like that. His Ada was as strong as the tallest tree and fearless as the wind. He placed his little hand on his father's face, like his mother did when he was upset and she was comforting him. "Ada - Please tell me what is wrong. I can not mend it for you if you don't tell me."  
  
Thranduil bit back a sob. "No one can fix this Titenlaeglass." He bowed his head, gripping Legolas's hands within his own. "No one," he whispered. Legolas gazed at his father, very confused. He couldn't understand why his Ada was acting like this. He looked hopefully over his shoulder and wished his mother would come and take him into her arms and comfort his Ada as well. He looked back at his father."Ada? I don't understand...."  
  
Thranduil lifted his head and looked at his son sadly. "Legolas... Your mother is dead." He looked away, trying to get a grip on his emotions. Legolas blinked, startled. Dead? But elves didn't die - they went over the sea or lived forever. They didn't just die. Thranduil forced himself to look at his youngest child, sensing that he didn't understand. "Do you understand what dead is?" he whispered. Legolas curled up against his father, not wanting to hear this. "She is elven, she can not die Ada. Don't he silly," he whispered. Thranduil wrapped his arms around the little body in his lap "They can die Titenlaeglass. She is dead," he whispered, his heart breaking.  
  
Legolas shook his head furiously, refusing to accept what he was hearing. Thranduil looked past him, his eyes focused on some distant point. "No. You're lying. She's not dead," Legolas gasped. Thranduil sighed, "I wish it were so. But I speak the truth." Legolas shook his head, dazed. "No…" Thranduil placed a hand on his shoulder "She is dead Legolas." Legolas jerked away, a look of betrayal on his face "Stop saying that! She is not dead! You're lying!" Legolas wished that he could believe his own words. The look of misery on his father's face was scaring him.  
  
"She is gone Titenlaeglass! She is gone and after the ceremony tonight…we will never see her again." He gasped at his own words and held his son tightly. Legolas's eyes widen in alarm and he struggled with this horrifying revelation. "What do you mean not see her again? Why? Why? Where is she going?" His little voice was shrill with fear. Thranduil lifted the child into his arms and rested his forehead against Legolas's "She is with Eru now Legolas."  
  
Legolas looked at his father, deeply distressed. "Where is Nana? I want to see her! Where is she?" Thranduil rose, holding on tightly to his son. "She is this way Titenlaeglass." He carried Legolas slowly toward the room where Melethmir's body was lying in wake.  
  
Legolas looked at his mother lying on the table, utterly still. He could not see the wounds that had killed her. They had been sewed up and hidden with the beautiful white dress she was now wearing. She was lying there, her eyes closed, arms folded across her chest. Legolas shivered. Elves didn't sleep with closed eyes. "No," he whimpered trying to wriggle free of his father's grasp. Thranduil set him down and Legolas rushed over to his mother's side. He grabbed her hand. "Nana?" He shook her hand gently, trying to rouse her.  
  
"Nana! Wake up...Nana...Please wake up...Nana...Please...Wake up.... Please...." he gazed at her intently as he spoke. The knot in his stomach threatened to engulf him. "Nana please!" he begged her, desperate for a response. He felt his father bend down beside him and wrap his arms around him "Legolas come away...."  
  
Legolas pulled away from his father fiercely "NO!" He gripped his mother's arm tightly, his breath coming out in gasping shudders. "She'll wake up soon..." he whispered. He placed his head against her, trembling with fear.  
  
Thranduil gazed at his son sorrowfully. "She won't Legolas. No matter how much we want her to...she won't be waking up. She's gone," he said sadly. Legolas shivered. He couldn't hear his mother's heartbeat. He straightened up and looked at his father, shaking his head. "She's right here! Here! She's not gone anywhere...'  
  
Thranduil bowed his head "It's only her... body." He flinched at his own harsh words. "Her soul is not there anymore." Legolas stared at his father, not understanding. He'd seen her that very morning; she was trying to persuade him to eat his breakfast. He hadn't wanted to - he wanted to go outside and play in the trees. She had been alive then. Why was she not alive now?  
  
Legolas gazed at his father, praying that he was lying about everything. But the look of pure grief on Thranduil's face negated that hope. Legolas's little face crumpled and he buried his face in his mother's side. He was chilled to discover how cold she was to touch.  
  
He felt his father stroke his back. "Come Legolas. Say goodbye to her." Legolas gazed at his mother. Surely he would see her again? He could not comprehend life without her. But he was sure he would see her again. Maybe she was sick. He didn't think elves got sick yet he reasoned that she would wake up soon enough and be with him. He was confused and troubled as his father tried to lead him away from her.  
  
He resisted and leaned over kissing her forehead softly, deeply troubled. "Cormamin niuve tenna' ta elea lle au." He was confused and pained when she didn't respond in any way. She was too still. Just wasn't right. Thranduil bowed his head and sadly led Legolas away to his room. 


	3. Denial

Review to tell me if I'm going okay here. // indicate the beginning of a flashback and \\ indicate the end of the flashback.  
  
oooOOOooo  
  
Denial  
  
Legolas stood beside his father as the flames of the funeral pyre were lit. He knew his older brothers and sisters and all of Mirkwood it seemed was there. He bit his lip as the flames touched his mother's porcelain skin and he whimpered in alarm. He pulled his father's sleeve, distraught.  
  
"Ada the fire will hurt her! Make them put it out! They'll hurt her!" He looked frantically at the crackling flames, appalled as they lapped at the skin of his mother. "It's hurting her! It's hurting her!" He yelped in alarm. Thranduil lifted Legolas into his arms and shook his head, pressing Legolas's little quivering body close to his. "No Titenlaeglass, no. Nothing can hurt her now. She feels no pain now where she is." He turned Legolas's head away, rocking him. He was having trouble watching this as well. Every part of his being was compelling him to run to her side and make her safe, away from the flames. He blinked forcing the thoughts back. "No pain," he repeated hoarsely. Legolas looked at him not believing him then he looked back at his mother.  
  
Legolas watched in sorrow as the flames consumed his Nana, dimly aware of the elves around the pyre singing a lament for her. It was a beautiful song, as pretty as the ones she had taught him. He tightened his grip on his father and Thranduil held him just as tight. Legolas whimpered as the body of his mother drifted into the wind as ashes. He wished he were with her, wherever it was that she now was.  
  
The pain he felt inside his heart was greater than any that a fire could inflict.  
  
After his sisters had put him to bed he lay awake, staring at the ceiling. He could hear the song of the night forest but tonight it gave him no comfort. For the first time since he could remember his Nana had not come in to sing him to sleep. She always came in to sing to him before sleep. He loved to rest against her, her arms wrapped around him tight, listening to her beautiful voice as she sang the pretty elven songs.  
  
But tonight she did not come.  
  
He rolled over and gripped his pillow tightly, his mind pondering the events of the day. It had started out normally, of that he was sure. Breakfast.... no bath.... good-natured teasing from his family...playing outside...then something went wrong. His mother was dead. She was burnt on a pyre. She didn't tuck him in to bed and sing him to sleep. All in a single day he had gone from having a mother to being told that she was dead and watching as she was cremated.  
  
She did not come to him now because was burnt to ashes - ashes that had drifted away with the wind. He heard a bird shriek and he whimpered, wanting his mother there with him. He sat up and pressed his back against the bed head, his favourite stuffed toy, a dragon he called NaurthÃ»l, pulled tightly against him. Why had they burnt her? What if she had woken up in the fire? How did everyone but him seem to know where she was and that she wasn't feeling pain? He didn't understand.  
  
He wanted his Nana.  
  
His tired and confused thoughts drifted. This was like a nightmare. He'd had a nightmare the other night and had been frightened. He'd rushed to his parent's room and his mother had comforted him with warm embraces and gentle words. His father had laughed gently and told him that dreams were nothing to be scared of. His mother had smiled and just held him tightly and then everything had been fine. Legolas bit the soft fabric ear of NaurthÃ»l, willing himself not to cry. He wanted to be strong like the trees, like his father was. His father had not cried earlier. He had merely watched with a sad face as the wind took his mother away with it.  
  
He stood up and scrambled out of bed rushing toward his parent's chamber. He pushed he door open saddened to discover that his mother was not there, only his father, sitting in his chair by the fire. Thranduil looked at his son wearily. "Legolas?" Legolas flung himself into his fathers lap as he sat there in his chair gazing at the fire. Thranduil looked down at the quivering bundle in his lap "Legolas...Legolas... You're suppose to be in bed asleep."  
  
"How can I sleep if Nana doesn't sing me a song Ada? She always sings me a song... I want her back Ada!" Legolas sobbed. Thranduil rocked him. "I want her back too Titenlaeglass. I want her back too," he whispered sorrowfully. He held Legolas, willing comfort into the confused and miserable child. Legolas sobbed against his father until he fell asleep from sheer exhaustion.  
  
Thranduil stood up and carried the little bundle back to his room. He laid him down in the bed and pulled the blanket over him. He smoothed the hair away from Legolas's troubled little sleeping face and sighed sadly. Legolas stirred and woke up, his eyes focusing on his father. "Don't go. Stay," he implored. Thranduil sighed again and sat down next to him on the bed, giving into the child's demands. Legolas curled up against him then drifted back to sleep, his eyes wide and vacant. Thranduil rested his arm against his son and gazed at the walls.  
  
Legolas's room was full of murals, painted scenes from elven history and stories. He remembered Melethmir standing there painting them as Legolas grew within her. She would paint and sing to him even then. Every song she knew she sang as she painted the scenes in her songs. He smiled, thinking of her.  
  
// They were strolling beneath the stars, enjoying the nighttime of Mirkwood. It had been a hectic day and he had not been in the best of moods at dinner. Melethmir had insisted upon him accompanying her. He could never refuse her anything and tonight's request for his company was granted. She had him wrapped around her little finger and she knew it. She was humming softly, a blissful smile on her face. He glanced at her sideways. "And what is it that has put you in such a fair mood this night?" he asked playfully, the frustration that had built up within him that day was melting away simply by being in her presence. She smiled softly and looked at him. "I cannot remember ever feeling this content," she said simply. He smiled in amusement. "Is that so?" She nodded, looking toward their home where their children were. "We are so blessed," she whispered.  
  
At that hour of the day he was inclined to disagree, the reasons for his unpleasant day lingering in his mind but she looked so happy that he dared not voice his concerns about the future of Mirkwood. She looked at him, sensing his unease. "You do not agree?" she queried finally. He sighed wearily. "My heart is heavy this day Melethril and I find it hard to see the joy here." She tilted her head, studying him carefully. She reached out and clasped his hand. "You do much for your subjects, you always have and you always will. Worry not my love for there is much reason to rejoice." He raised an eyebrow and snorted in distain. "Oh really? And what pray tell, should I rejoice about?" he demanded. She smiled and placed the hand of his that she was holding over her stomach and smiled tenderly. "Well I do not think that your son will approve of such gloomy views of the world he will be born into." Thranduil could only look at her in awe and delight, unable to say anything of intelligence in response. \\  
  
  
  
He remembered how excited she was when she discovered that she was pregnant with Legolas. He'd been delighted as well - the rest of their children were grown up now, wanting to make their way in the world somehow. He felt the tears rolling down his cheeks and he reached up to wipe them away. He had to be strong for Legolas. Legolas who would now grow up not knowing his mother. He choked back a sob and Legolas stirred again but didn't wake.  
  
He sensed dawn approaching and disentangled himself from Legolas to move toward the balcony, wanting to watch the sunrise. He watched as she rose from behind the treetops, warm light covering the land. He frowned, the sunrise giving him no comfort today as it usually did. He glanced over his shoulder and saw Legolas tossing and turning, crying out softly in his sleep. He sat up suddenly and looked around, confusion clear on his face. He looked over and saw his father. He rubbed his eyes and stumbled over to his father. "Ada - I had the most terrible dream. Nana died and ..."  
  
Thranduil closed his eyes, groaning softly and bent down to embrace the youngest of his progeny. "Legolas please...I can not bear this," he whispered. He opened them and looked at Legolas in the eyes. "She IS dead Titenlaeglass. Her soul is gone. Her body is gone. She is gone!" He pulled away and stared at Legolas, mentally pleading him to understand. "Please tell me you understand this!"  
  
Legolas had woken up and everything seemed normal. The sun was shining, the morning birds were singing, he was in his room, snug in his bed. Everything was normal. It had made yesterday seem like nothing but a terrible dream.  
  
And his father was telling him that it wasn't a dream. It was real. His mother was dead. And it was real. Her body had drifted away with the wind. It was all real. Her soul was gone, someplace where he couldn't be with her. And it was real. She was gone. It was real. He'd never ever see her again, not even if he crossed the sea.  
  
Legolas stared at his father, stricken beyond words. He couldn't make a sentence to answer his father. The words just wouldn't come to him. He stumbled away from him, dazed. Thranduil watched, pained as his youngest child tried to take this all in. He could barely handle it himself; he didn't know how he expected this little child to comprehend something he didn't fully understand himself.  
  
Legolas looked at him, still with a stunned expression on his face "I feel sick," he said softly, wrapping his arms around himself. Thranduil swept him into his arms and placed him back into bed. "Shhh. Sleep now little one. You will feel better once you have had some sleep I think." He hoped that it was not an outright lie. Legolas nodded vaguely, not really hearing what was being said to him. Thranduil placed a kiss on his forehead and waited for him to drift off to sleep. He left the door partly opened as he exited in case Legolas cried out again.  
  
He was walking back to his room; his thoughts so chaotic that he did not even notice Silagilgalad call out to him. He jumped when he felt a hand placed on his arm.  
  
"Adar."  
  
He turned to look at his eldest daughter "Forgive me Silagilgalad. My mind was a million miles away. What was it that you said?"  
  
Silagilgalad smiled, understandingly "It's hard isn't it?" He nodded unhappily. She glanced back down the hall. "How is Legolas?" Thranduil sighed sadly and ran his hands through his hair. "He doesn't understand."  
  
Silagilgalad clucked with her tongue. "Poor thing. He's so young as well." She sighed and looked at her father. "One day he'll understand." Thranduil winced at her words. "I wish that had not happened while he was so young." He grimaced, "I wish it had never happened at all." Silagilgald nodded in agreement as Thranduil looked at her. "He doesn't understand why she is not coming back, why he will never see her again."  
  
Silagilgalad looked at him with a bewildered look on her face. "Do any of us?" she demanded. He shrugged. "We understand better than he does right now." Silagilgalad smiled sadly. "I don't think that any creature, mortal or immortal, can truly comprehend death Adar. It's too complicated and hard for us. " He smiled and kissed her forehead. "You have your mothers wisdom, Silagilgalad." She smiled, pleased with the compliment. "Thank you Adar."  
  
Thranduil moved off, deciding to see how the rest of his children were coping with this sudden death of their mother. He found his other two daughters in the gardens, conversing with a pair of robins. Bainalfirin and Lhendglir looked up and moved to greet him. They were smiling. He looked at them, curious. "We were talking about Naneth," explained Lhendglir. Bainalfirin smiled up at him. "What's your favourite memory of Naneth?" He smiled and sat with them for awhile, joining in their discussion of Melethmir. It helped ease his pain. He wished there was something he could do to ease Legolas's pain. 


	4. Anger

Am I doing something wrong? Heck even if I'm doing something right tell me! I can only improve right? LOL  
  
oooOOOooo  
  
Anger  
  
A few nights later, Legolas sat at the dinner table, half listening to the muted chatter around him. He was trying to avoid looking at the empty seat beside him. His mother normally sat there. But she was gone now and the chair was empty. She would never sit there again. He blinked, forcing a fresh wave of tears back. She didn't have a body; she would not be sitting anywhere again. He looked at the food as it was set down in front of him. She would not eat anything again either! She would never pick up a fork to eat her meal, never have a drink again, and never scold him as he tried to fit too much in his mouth. Never never never never. The word echoed through his mind and he looked around desperately, not quite sure what it was that he wanted from his family. Everyone else was talking though about what he wasn't sure. He looked at his plate, unable to bring himself to touch a bite. He whimpered softly, not wanting to touch it yet along eat it.  
  
He felt a hand on his shoulder. He looked up at Thranduil who had been observing him intently. "Legolas, eat your dinner." he said firmly. Legolas looked again at his plate and shook his head. "I'm not hungry," he muttered. Thranduil frowned slightly at his order being ignored. "Legolas eat. I have not the patience for your silly games at the moment." Legolas flinched and shook his head, still refusing. Thranduil sighed and leaned over to whisper in his son's ear. "I know you miss your mother Legolas but that is not a reason to not eat." Legolas whimpered again at the mention of his mother yet still did not touch his food. Thranduil's annoyance grew. He had not been in the best of moods today and Legolas's behaviour, however understandable was now irking him no end. "Legolas either eat your food or go to bed. This behaviour is unseemly and nonsensical. Stop it at once."  
  
Legolas winced, wishing his father were not angry with him. He could feel his father's irate gaze on him. He felt his own anger grow within him and he glared back at his father, defiantly. For a moment it was a battle of wills and it was Legolas who gave up first and he sulkily stormed off to his room. Thranduil sighed in frustration, watching him go. Bainalfirin looked at him questioningly. "Adar? What's wrong with him?" She frowned watching Legolas push past a servant. "Should someone go after him?"  
  
Thranduil sighed and shook his head. "Leave him be for now Bainalfirin. He will feel better soon enough." Bainalfirin frowned again and shrugged, turning to her sister Lhendglir to continue her conversation.  
  
Legolas sat in the corner of his room, NaurthÃ»l pulled tightly against him, his teeth biting at the ear. He couldn't cry, he was too exhausted to cry. Besides his tears accomplished nothing anyway. He looked at the images on his walls, the one his mother had painted before he was born. He stood up and ran his fingers over the outline of the familiar figures. They comforted him normally; he knew the songs and stories. His mother had taught them to him. Everytime he looked at the walls of his room he was reminded of his mother.  
  
He pulled away, suddenly hating this reminder of her. He didn't understand why the gods had taken his mother. He hated them for taking her. He hated his mother for leaving him behind. He hated his father for burning her. He hated his brothers and sisters for having more time than with her than them. He hated the creatures that had hurt her so badly. He hated everyone and everything in that moment.  
  
Fury gripped him and he attacked everything in his path. Toys, clothes, and furniture - it all went flying in every direction. Legolas was vaguely aware of the smashing noises he caused. He found his little dagger and slashed at the walls, wanting to rid himself of the sweet smiling faces, faces his mother had put there for him. He was so caught up with his destruction that he didn't even hear his father open the door.  
  
Thranduil was startled by the destruction in Legolas's room. He looked around at the ruined walls, furniture and other items that decorated Legolas's nursery. His temper flared. Melethmir had decorated this room herself; she had painstakingly made sure every detail in here was perfect for her son. And he was ruining it!  
  
"Legolas Greenleaf what do you think you are doing!" he roared, furious. Legolas spun around to face his father. Legolas froze staring at his father, slightly startled by Thranduil's rage. Thranduil stormed in and slammed the door shut behind him. "Have you lost your mind child? Your mother decorated this room especially for you! And this is how you repay her kindness? With destruction? Are you mad?" His sudden rage consumed him and he slapped Legolas across the face.  
  
Legolas's hand flew to his cheek and he stared at his father in shock, more stunned than in pain. His father had never done such a thing to him before. Never. He bit the inside of his cheek to keep from crying out, not wanting to give his father another excuse to slap him. His father did not approve of cowards. He could feel his father's angry glare upon him and he backed away, curling up in the corner, his cheek throbbing in pain.  
  
Thranduil caught himself, feeling disgust at himself for what he had just done. He sighed, running his fingers thought his hair. "Forgive me Titenlaeglass. I did not mean to hurt you." Legolas looked away, feeling betrayed somehow, gripping his toy tightly. Thranduil bowed his head, stung that Legolas wouldn't look at him though he couldn't blame him. "Legolas please don't be mad at me. I am sorry, I do not know what came over me."  
  
Legolas looked up sharply, leaping to his feet, physical pain forgotten. He glared at his father with fury. "How could you do that!" he snarled at his father then he twisted to look out the window. For a moment Thranduil thought that Legolas was talking about his violence then he understood. "It is our custom Legolas."  
  
Legolas trembled with rage. "But you burnt her! She cannot come back to me now! She's gone! She cannot come back," His voice grew shrill. "She's gone! She's gone!" He began to weep, the finality of his own words sinking in. "She's gone! She's gone! She's gone!" he repeated over and over. He slumped to the floor, sobbing furiously with loss. Thranduil gazed at his stricken son and sat beside him. Legolas scrambled into his lap and Thranduil held him tightly. Legolas gripped him back just as tightly, tears streaming down his cheeks. Thranduil cried with him. Father and son remained like that for awhile, sharing in each others sorrow and grief.  
  
oooOOOooo  
  
More to come soon! Remember reviews and criticism are always welcome 


	5. Bargaining

Reviews and criticism are welcome! Thank you to all those that have! And a special thanks to my muse!!!  
  
// Indicate the beginning of a flashback and \\ indicate the end of the flashback.  
  
oooOOOooo  
  
Bargaining  
  
Finally their tears began to dry up. Legolas did not think he could possibly cry anymore. He was exhausted, emotionally and physically. Thranduil decided that sleep was the best option for his little elf right now and got him ready for bed. "We'll clean this orc nest of a room in the morning," he said softly to his mournful child. He looked at the ruined walls "We will repair the walls somehow."  
  
Legolas glared at them resentfully, still loathing the reminder of his mother. "Leave them like that," he muttered. Thranduil looked down at his son harshly. "Your mother loved those walls Legolas," he said sharply. Legolas cringed. His father was calling him Legolas all the time - he didn't like it. He was always Titenlaeglass to his father. It was his special pet name. He looked around his chaotic room, wanting to avoid the angry gaze of his father. Well, he mused, perhaps I deserved it. He had messed his room up a fair bit. Plus he'd not eaten again. Even his mother would be displeased with that. Although he had been made to have a bath by his sisters so he was clean at least.  
  
His father lifted him into bed, tucking him in securely. "Good night Titenlaeglass," He said gently. Legolas relaxed slightly, relieved to hear his father call him by his pet name. Suddenly a thought struck him. "Ada how can I sleep if Nana doesn't sing me a song?"  
  
Thranduil paused looking at him. He frowned. "Do you want me to get one of your sisters?" he asked. Legolas shook his head, gripping Naurthûl. What he wanted for his mother to walk in and sing to him like she always had.  
  
He stared at his father miserably. "She always sings me a song Ada!" he whimpered. Thranduil moved back over to the bed and sat down, lifting the little elf child into his lap. "What do you want Titenlaeglass? I can not give you your mother..." he said sadly.  
  
Legolas broke into a fresh round of tears and buried his face in his father's chest. "But I want her back Ada! Tell her to come back from wherever it is she is!" he wept as he raised a tear stained face to his father's. Thranduil sighed, "I cannot Titenlaeglass. Can you not see that? Do you think for a moment that if there was any way I could bring her back that I would not be doing it? I miss her as much as you do."  
  
Legolas sobbed. "Why? Why? Was it something I did? Was it because I didn't have my bath? Did she go away because she's mad at me? What did I do Ada?" he cried. Thranduil looked at his son in dismay. Legolas stared at his father, his eyes wide and pleading. "Bring her back! Please? I'll be good...I'll have a thousands baths... Anything.... I'll never be bad again.... I just want Nana back. I'll do anything you say... Please - just bring her BACK!" He was desperate, he wanted his mother with him again so much.  
  
Thranduil held Legolas tightly to him. " Titenlaeglass no. It was nothing to do with you! Spiders attacked her! Her soul left her body and she died," he said gently. Legolas looked at his father, distraught and confused. "I don't understand. Why couldn't she get back in it and not be dead?" he asked.  
  
Before Thranduil could respond, Legolas leapt to his feet and hurled Naurthûl across the room, venting his anger. "It's stupid. Dead is something mortal! We're elves, we don't die!" He gazed up at his father, still furious. "Why did she go? " Thranduil pulled the child into his arms and stroked his son's back, trying to soothe him. "She was hurt too bad Titenlaeglass. Her body was too broken to keep her soul in it any longer."  
  
Legolas rested his head against his father's shoulder and tried to grasp this cruel concept of death. Her body was dead – then what of her soul? He puzzled. He pulled back and looked into his father's eyes. "Where did her soul go then?" he demanded. Thranduil tried to think of a simple way to explain this to his little son.  
  
"The slain souls of elves are summoned to the Halls of Mandos. There they are made to wait until the end of the world or they are reborn in a new body," he said slowly, wondering how Legolas would react to such news.  
  
His eyes widened in hope. "You mean Nana can come back to me?" he asked excitedly. Thranduil sighed. "If she does she will be different Legolas. She'd be reborn as a baby, younger than you." Legolas frowned slightly, not sure what to make of that. It didn't make sense really. How could she be his mother if she was younger than him? He stepped back, troubled. "Would she remember me?" he asked in a small voice. Thranduil chose his words carefully. "Reborn elves do not remember their previous life until their experiences and knowledge have grown. She might one day… that is if she chooses to be reborn."  
  
Legolas blinked in surprise, startled at the idea that his mother wouldn't want to come back to him. "Why wouldn't she?" he demanded. Thranduil shrugged. "As well I know the mind of your mother Titenlaeglass, I do not know what she would choose. She might prefer to wait or she might want to be reborn. I know not," he said simply. Legolas stared at his father horrified. He looked away grappling with this new knowledge. He looked at Thranduil after a few moments and bowed his head sorrowfully. "Then I probably won't see her again."  
  
Legolas curled up against his father, weeping as he tried to accept what his father was telling him. His heart ached, him head ached and his body ached. He could not recall ever feeling so lost and miserable. Thranduil held him and said nothing, willing comfort into the confused and miserable child. Legolas sobbed against his father's chest until he fell asleep from sheer exhaustion.  
  
Thranduil tucked Legolas but did not leave him in case he woke up in fright again. As he sat beside Legolas, his mind churned with concerns. This was not going to be easy on Legolas. His older children understood elvish death but no one had explained it properly to Legolas, he was simply too young. The child's greatest concerns in life up until the other day consisted of having a bath, playing and avoiding the monsters that he occasionally thought were in his wardrobe. Thranduil smiled at that thought, remember the first time that Legolas had thought that there was a monster hiding in his room.  
  
// "Did you see the face that he pulled at Orchalorn? Where did he learn that?" Melethmir was standing in their chamber, hands on her hips. Thranduil raised his hands in defense. "I vow I did not teach the child such things! It was most likely Ballas or perhaps one of his sisters. They're always up to tricks." Melethmir raised an eyebrow. "So you deny teaching Legolas how to pull those dreadful faces?" Thranduil looked at her snootily "I am the king. How dare you suggest that I even know such things," he said archly.  
  
Melethmir snorted. "Thranduil, I saw you teaching him," she said scornfully. Thranduil blinked, startled at being caught teaching baby Legolas silly faces. He couldn't think of a decent reply. The best he could come up with was an expression he'd heard from the mouths of Men. "Oh bugger."  
  
Melethmir burst into laughter and kissed his cheek. "You silly old dwarf," she giggled. He smiled at her and pulled her into his arms. "Ah I bet you've taught him even worse ones than what I have," he purred in her ear. She smiled up at him, tilting her head. "I am the queen. How dare you suggest that I even know such things," she mocked. Before he could reply the door was thrown open. He looked up, trying to hide the annoyance on his face at the intrusion. He was a little startled to see Legolas there. He thought that Melethmir had put him to bed hours ago.  
  
Melethmir obviously had. "Legolas why are you not in bed?" He stared at her with his big blue eyes, clutching his beloved toy dragon to him. "Dhere's a monster in my woom!" he exclaimed wide-eyed toddling over as fast as his little legs could carry him to his mother. Melethmir raised an eyebrow and bent down to be closer to his height. "A monster?" she repeated, trying hard not to laugh. Thranduil did not have such luck; he had to turn away to hide his laughter. Legolas nodded emphatically. "A big scarwee monster wib big sarp teef! It wants to eat me up!" Melethmir glanced up at Thranduil. "Well I do not think that the king will approve of monsters wanting to eat his sons," she mused. Thranduil nodded in agreement. "It is outrageous. How dare this monster with big sharp teeth come into my house and threaten to eat my son," he declared with a forceful bob of his head. Legolas looked at him hopefully.  
  
Thranduil grabbed his sword and took Legolas by the hand and led him to his room. Thranduil looked around the room, ignoring the toys that were littered everywhere. "Where is this prince eating monster?" he demanded. Legolas pointed at the wardrobe fearfully. "In dere," he whispered breaking away from his father to hide behind his mother. Thranduil looked over at Melethmir and she smiled, bending down to comfort Legolas as Thranduil opened the wardrobe. He tried to sound stern as he shook his sword menacingly in there "Hear this prince eating monster! I'll not have you threatening my Titenlaeglass. Be gone and do not return," he said to the numerous outfits that hung in there. Legolas watched in awe then wriggled excitedly in his mother's grasp. "Ada, Ada you dib it! Da monster is gone way!" he squealed. Melethmir smiled and placed Legolas on the bed. He reached out his arms to his father and Thranduil complied, lifting him up for a hug. Legolas touched his forehead to his father's, smiling happily, utterly delighted in the fact that his father could scare away monsters and make everything better again. \\  
  
Well, mused Thranduil as he gazed down at his sleeping son, if only all of his problems were that simple. It troubled him that he could not help Legolas with this. He knew that it was something that Legolas would have to realize and understand for himself. He would eventually. Thranduil grimaced looking at the cheek he had struck earlier in a grip of fury.  
  
The child had not deserved that. Yelled at and scolded perhaps but not hurt physically. He looked at the walls sadly, troubled to see all of Melethmir's efforts damaged. The damage went no higher than what Legolas could reach but it was high enough. Smiling faces had gashes in them and magical painted forests had giant rips through them. He sighed and looked down at Legolas's sleeping form, the child's eyes wide and vacant, wondering what was going through the mind of the little elf. 


	6. Depression

Thanks a heap for all the positive reviews! Reviews and criticism are always welcome with me.  
  
// Indicate the beginning of a flashback and \\ indicate the end of the flashback.  
  
oooOOOooo  
  
Depression  
  
Thranduil stood at Legolas's door, watching him with a troubled expression. His son sat on the floor with his arms wrapped around his legs, chin resting on his knees and staring at nothing. "Titenlaeglass, it is a beautiful day out, come outside," he coaxed gently. Legolas merely glanced at him without moving his head. "No thank you Ada. I would rather stay inside today," he said softly.  
  
Thranduil bit his lip and hesitated. It had been several months since the death of Melethmir. His older children had dealt with their pain and sorrow. They were moving on, as was he. They knew that life went on, that death was simply a part of it. Legolas, on the other hand, resisted. He understood that his mother was not coming back. He knew how she died. He knew where she was now. He'd had it explained to him over and over. Yet it did not help, he was still filled with sorrow.  
  
He sighed and stepped away from his son's room "As you wish Titenlaeglass," he said softly, deciding against arguing with him today. He'd tried that once and had little desire to push Legolas again.  
  
// Thranduil stood at Legolas's door, his temper growing rapidly. The child was being extremely uncooperative. Three days ago he'd shut himself in his room and had refused to come out since. His sisters had tried coaxing him out, as had his brothers, but to no avail. Thranduil had tried once or twice but had figured that Legolas wanted to be alone with his thoughts.  
  
On the beginning of the fourth day Thranduil decided that Legolas should come out of his room. Legolas was becoming far too troubled and he needed to be with his family, not dwelling on the past. Thranduil banged on the door again. "Legolas, I'll not ask again. Open the door!"  
  
"Go away!"  
  
Thranduil scowled in outrage at being spoken to like that. This was ridiculous, he thought, no elf should speak like that, not even a child. He tried to force the door open and was startled to find it refused to open. He blinked in utter surprise. The only doors that had locks on them were the dungeons! How had the little rascal locked himself in?  
  
"He's too small to push his furniture around," Bainalfirin exclaimed. Thranduil ignored her – if Legolas could throw the better part of his furniture around then chances were he could push a few things against the door. Frustration got the better of Thranduil and he pounded on the door furiously. "So help me Legolas Greenleaf – if you do not open this door at once you will woe the day you were ever born!"  
  
Silagilgalad frowned disapprovingly. "Adar. Don't speak to him like that," she said scoldingly. Lhendglir glanced uncertainly toward the door. "Perhaps we ought to leave him for a bit longer," she suggested nervously. Thranduil shook his head stubbornly. "No. He'll eat with us this night even if we must tie him to his chair."  
  
Silagilgalad blinked in surprise at the stubbornness Thranduil displayed. "Adar! We can't do that to him! It's ridiculous! If he wants to eat - he'll eat. If not we can hardly force him," she said practically. Ballas frowned. "He's acting so strange," he said in concern. Thranduil snorted and looked at the door that refused to be opened. He tried once more to get Legolas to open the door. "Legolas! Open. The. Door!" he yelled. No response.  
  
Thranduil growled in frustration looking at his other children. Orchalorn shifted uneasily "Why is he acting this way Adar? It's so unlike him to be defiant. Wilful yes, but never downright disobedient," he said looking questioningly at his father. Thranduil sighed, resting his head against the door, wondering what he could possibly do to cheer his youngest son up.  
  
Doronorn frowned and looked at the door. "Perhaps we should break it down?" he asked uncertainly. Thranduil sighed "He's done more than enough damage to his room." He looked at the doorhandle. "A little more won't hurt it I think," he said darkly and kicked it with all his might. The door swung in, practically broken off its hinges. He sought out Legolas in the midst of the mess. He frowned at the disarray and scowled when his eyes fell on Legolas.  
  
Legolas was sitting in the corner of the room with his chin resting on his knees. He was an utter mess as he stared stonily at the upturned chair a few feet in front of him. Thranduil scowled down at him. "Legolas when I speak to you I expect a proper answer. Is that clear?" he snapped as he walked into the room, being careful to avoid stepping on the numerous objects that littered the ground. Legolas shifted his head slightly to look at his father. He stared at Thranduil for a moment then looked back at the chair. "Leave me alone," he said flatly. Thranduil glared at him. "No. You've been in here long enough. You're coming outside."  
  
Legolas shook his head stubbornly. "No." Thranduil snorted. "It is not a choice Legolas. It is an order, " he said sternly. Legolas shook his head again, his jaw set. Thranduil raised an eyebrow. "You do not have a choice in the matter Legolas."  
  
Legolas didn't look up as his siblings stepped into the room, all deeply concerned about him. Silagilgalad moved past her father and bent down beside Legolas, and tried to coax him once more. "Come along Legolas. It's such a wonderful day out. The sun is warm, the trees are singing…." She trailed off when she realised that he was ignoring her.  
  
She reached out and touched his arm. "Legolas please," she implored. He jerked away sharply, staring at her angrily. "I said go away!" he snapped. She drew back startled and looked worriedly at Thranduil. Thranduil glared at Legolas. "Legolas. Apologise this instant. You have no reason to treat your sister like that."  
  
Legolas swung his glare to his father and leapt to his feet. "I said leave me alone!" he shrieked, grabbing various object that lay near him and started throwing them wildly. Ballas jumped in surprise when a toy hit him in the shoulder and Lhendglir grabbed the pillow that came flying toward her head just in time. Thranduil stared at Legolas, appalled. He motioned for Doronorn to take the others out of the room so that he could deal with Legolas privately. Doronorn nodded and led his sisters out with his brothers following, all of them stunned at Legolas's behaviour.  
  
Legolas took no notice of them, simply continued pitching things around the room enraged. Thranduil strode over to him and caught a toy that came hurtling his way. He tossed it aside and wrapped his arms around Legolas, his chest to Legolas's back. Legolas struggled for a few moments then slumped against his father. Thranduil held him for a few moments, scared and angry that his son was so enraged. He didn't know how to help him.  
  
Legolas stood there gasping for breath, his rampage having tired him. Thranduil debated whether to take Legolas from the room or leave him there. He decided to get Legolas out into the sunshine would be the best choice of action. He gripped Legolas by the hand and started to lead him out.  
  
It took a few seconds for Legolas to realise what was going on. Then he started kicking and hauled backwards, dragging his feet, not wanting to be led out. Thranduil sighed in frustration and glared down at his struggling son. "Legolas stop it. This behaviour is ridiculous," he growled. Legolas ignored him and continued to fight against him. He glanced up to look at his older children as they grimly watched the scene. Thranduil shook Legolas roughly. "Be still."  
  
Legolas stilled instantly, much to Thranduil's surprise. He glared sullenly at his feet, refusing to look at any member of his family. Thranduil dragged him outside and put him by a tree. Legolas looked toward his room, the balcony visible, wondering if he could run back and be alone there with his thoughts. Thranduil saw his look. "Do not even think about it Legolas," he said sharply. Legolas scowled and dropped beside a tree, pressing his back against the trunk. He didn't move from that spot all day and he ignored everyone and everything that tired to speak to him. \\  
  
The fury that Legolas had released that day when he had been forcibly removed from his room had startled his entire family. His sisters were greatly concerned for him as were his brothers. Thranduil was more worried than the rest of them combined. He could not think of anything that might bring Legolas out of his listlessness.  
  
When Legolas didn't move from his chosen place on the floor, Thranduil chose not to press him and walked down the hallway, knowing he had other business to attend to. "Adar!" a voice called to him from behind. He paused and turned to look at Lhendglir as she walked up to meet him.  
  
She glanced back down the hall where he had come from. "How is he?" she asked softly, greatly concerned for her little brother. He shook his head, despairing. "No better. I do not know how to help him anymore. I have told him, explained to him. I do not know what else to do," he sighed.  
  
Lhendglir smiled sadly and placed a hand on his arm. "Give him time Adar. He is so new to the world. He isn't even a century! Of course this is hard on him. It's the first time that death has touched his life," she told him gently. He knew all this though. He sighed as he nodded to her "I know. Perhaps that is why we cannot help him. We're too old to see it from his perspective."  
  
She smiled thoughtfully at him. "To think all my life I've been told that I will grow wiser with age. Now our wisdom can not help my little brother," she mused. Thranduil smiled bitterly at the irony of the situation. "Indeed. Eru has a strange sense of humour."  
  
That night Thranduil looked at the table from the doorway, scanning it to be sure that his family was all there. Only two members were missing. One had an excuse - she was dead - the other however had no excuse. He sighed impatiently, spinning on heel to fetch Legolas from his room. He pushed the door to Legolas's room open and stuck his head in. "Titenlaeglass? Are you eating with us?" he asked as he looked in. Legolas was right where he had been that morning. Still staring vacantly at the wall.  
  
They had yet to be repaired from the damaged he had caused them that night. Anytime that someone approached them to try and mend them Legolas flew into a rage, hysterical. But it was like that now with him. Gone was the easygoing, carefree child. Now there was a sad and highly temperamental child in his stead. Thranduil was not sure he could handle this unhappy Legolas much longer. It made his heart ache to see his son like this. It also scared him. Elves did not display their grief like Legolas was; they suffered it stoically without complaint.  
  
Legolas was vaguely aware of his father in the doorway, saying something about eating. He was beyond caring about food. All he wanted was his mother. He desired nothing else in the world. Thranduil walked over and bent down, reaching out to rest his hand on Legolas's shoulder.  
  
Legolas jerked away at he contact and stood up. "I'm coming," he said flatly. Thranduil rose slowly, staring intently at Legolas, deeply troubled at his son's behaviour. Legolas avoided his gaze, preferring to focus on the floor. "Very well," murmured Thranduil, as he followed Legolas to the table, frowning as he barely greeted those that welcomed him.  
  
Not all the playful banter of his siblings could coax a smile from him. Legolas ate precious little from his plate and sat silently, ignoring any talk directed at him, much to the annoyance of Thranduil. Finally fed up with Legolas's sullen behaviour Thranduil told him to go to bed. Legolas obeyed without a word of protest.  
  
Silagilgalad watched him go, her expression deeply troubled. "Adar, how can we help him? It pains me to see him like this," she said sadly. Orchalorn nodded his agreement. "Tis not right, he is acting as highly strung as a human," he said grimly. Bainalfirin cringed and looked pleadingly at her father. "Adar there must be something we can do to help him. He is so sad and miserable all the time. He is so young; he does not deserve to have such misery."  
  
Thranduil looked at his older children wearily. "I know of nothing that might be able to help him, nor can I imagine the pain and sorrow he feels. I can think of nothing else to say to him to cheer him up."  
  
Lhendglir sighed. "Perhaps you should not have told him about the Hall of Mandos Adar," she said darkly. Doronorn shook his head in disagreement. "He would have learned of it sooner or later. Imagine how he would have felt then. Tis better this way, no matter how hard it is for him," he said firmly. Silagilgalad looked at him sharply but said nothing, pondering her thoughts in silence.  
  
Ballas shrugged. "I simply wish he would stop acting so strange. He reminds me of a human with his tantrums and irritability," he said thoughtfully. Orchalorn smiled slightly at that. "Or worse – a dwarf." Ballas smiled slightly at that. Bainalfirin looked at Thranduil, wondering what he thought of that. He simply sat there, lost in thought.  
  
Silagilgalad sighed. "It does not matter now. What's done is done and cannot be undone. All we can do is try to make him see that life continues on no matter what," she said sadly, wishing that Legolas could understand that and not trouble himself with his sorrow. Thranduil glanced at her and nodded in agreement. "Silagilgalad is right. That is all we can do to help him."  
  
Lhendglir looked wistful. "I wish Naneth would return. Then we'd have the old Legolas back," she said sadly. Silagilgalad was doubtful. "I do not think that we would – he would be fearful that she would leave him again. It would probably be worse," she mused. Ballas nodded in agreement. "I would imagine that he is terrified that any of us might be taken from him like she was," he commented. Thranduil looked at him thoughtfully but said nothing. The family finished their meal in silence. 


	7. Nightmare

Reviews and criticism welcome! Thanks a bunch to all those that have. The angst is nearly over now.  
  
~~Indicate a dream  
  
oooOOOooo  
  
Nightmare  
  
Legolas lay in his bed, having been ordered to his room by his annoyed father. He wished that his Ada would stop being so ….two faced! One minute he was kind to him then the next he was cranky and mean. Legolas didn't understand it at all.  
  
He rolled over and reached for Naurthûl, wrapping his arms tightly around the beloved toy dragon. He pushed thoughts of his father away and instantly thoughts of his mother invaded his head. His mind whirled with memories and thoughts as he lay there. Ada said it was her only her body that went with the wind, Nana's soul was gone someplace else - the Halls of Mandos. There she would be healed and sent back to Middle Earth eventually. If she chose to be reborn...  
  
He rolled over again, his thoughts becoming angry. Why would she not want to return to him? Could she have returned to her normal body if it had not been burnt? Or did she want to wait in the Halls of Mandos? He struggled to answer his questions to no avail.  
  
Legolas tossed again, unable to drift off, as he wanted to do. He had been told that elves were immortal and could not die. He'd been lied to... Elves could die! His mother had died. What else had he been told that was a lie? He gripped his toy tightly, biting into its ear and whimpered softly to himself, dark miserable thoughts clouding his mind. Sleep was slow coming for him.  
  
When it did come, he dreamed.  
  
~~~ He was curled up between his parents in their bed, their eyes wide and vacant, asleep. Legolas was not sure if it was a memory or wishful thinking but he did not care. He was protected and loved. Those were the only sensations he could feel and were all that mattered to him right now. He was so little; it had to have been a memory that he had simply forgotten. His back was against his father's chest and his father was strong, powerful and warm. Legolas smiled contentedly, secure in the knowledge that his father was there with him. He looked up into his mother's face and smiled; delighted that she was there. He sighed softly as his mother's forehead touched his, her sweet breath warming his face. She was alive. That was good. She was so soft and gentle. His little fingers twirled in her hair, tugging ever so gently on the strands of hair. Her own hands, one was on his side, holding him close and her other hand rested on Thranduil. Legolas felt his fathers arm across him, resting on his mother. Legolas sighed happily, enjoying every second of this safe warmth. His father was here, his mother was here and everything was good.  
  
...She's gone....  
  
Legolas frowned as the stray thought wandered in his mind. He tried to force it away; wanting to enjoy this happy dream while it lasted. She's not gone.... she's here with me he thought. His mother was not gone, not ashes, she was here, she was alive, with him. She was alive! He gripped her tightly, suddenly cold with fear, despite the reassuring warmth surrounding him. If he let her go she might leave him and he didn't want that. He whimpered unhappily, feeling the dream crumble away. He wanted her with him like before... An image of his mother's funeral pyre hit him and he was swamped with grief. He wanted the warm security again not this cruel fire.  
  
He looked away and searched the area for his father. His father was there, strong as the trees and as fearless as the wind as always. He ran over to Thranduil but his Ada turned away from him. Legolas froze in surprise, confused and scared. He looked back at the pyre and whimpered, seeing his mother lying there, flames caressing her skin. He cried out again and looked for his father and was troubled even more when he could not find him. He twisted around to face the cruel taunting pyre again and cried out in horror and grief. This pyre was not his mother's - it was his father lying there, burning away with the wind. Legolas cried out again, sinking to his knees, tears streaming down his cheeks. Was his entire family going to be stolen from him now? First his mother and now his father? What of his brothers and sisters then? Were they to be taken from him as well? ~~~  
  
Thranduil heard his son's sleepy cries of alarm as he came in to check on him before he retired as well. He grimaced at the anguish in his child's voice and moved toward the bed, reaching out to bring Legolas away from his nightmares and into the world of the wakeful. He called his son's name gently, waiting for him to come out of the dark dream.  
  
Legolas could hear his father calling him to him. He was confused - was his father calling to him from the fire? Oh gods – were they burning him alive he wondered in horror. "Legolas! Legolas wake up! Tis only a dream Titenlaeglass." A dream? A dream...  
  
Legolas sat up gasping, looking around in confusion, his body trembling with fear from his dream. He looked up at his father's face with a mixture of wonder, pain and relief. Thranduil smiled gently at him, reaching out with a hand to smooth Legolas's hair away from his face. "Shhh Titenlaeglass – It was a dream, nothing more," he soothed.  
  
Legolas felt sick with that realisation. His mother had not been there. She never would be again. Thranduil sat down and pulled his son into his lap, smoothing his hair back, rocking him gently trying to calm him down as he gasped with fright. "Tis fine Titenlaeglass," he whispered again, praying that Legolas would calm a little now. Legolas rested against his father, troubled with his dream. "Ada," he whimpered as relief that his father was still there flooded his frightened body and he buried his face into his father's chest, clinging to him tightly.  
  
Thranduil crooned softly to him. "Your dreams can't hurt you little one - you are old enough to know that." He smiled slightly down at Legolas. "Do not tell me that I shall have to stay here with you, my sword by my side to scare aware the monsters in your wardrobe again?" he said playfully. Legolas blinked and he raised his head indignantly, the playful taunt baiting him. "I'm not afraid of wardrobe monsters Ada. They don't scare me anymore!" Well that was a little lie but he was sure his father wouldn't figure it out.  
  
Thranduil smiled at him in amusement. "Well that is a relief then. So what is it that troubles your dreams so? From the noise you were making you were clearly not having proper elven dreams," he asked. Legolas shuddered and gripped his father even tighter, not wanting to let him go.  
  
He buried his face into Thranduil's chest, willing back tears – he was so tired of crying. "You were dead Ada. You were burning on a pyre. Just like Nana did," he whispered. He looked at his father, his eyes full of pain. "Are you going to leave me too Ada?" Thranduil studied his son in concern at this new line of thought that Legolas was presenting to him. "Titenlaeglass I wouldn't for all the treasure in the world leave you. You know that," he said firmly.  
  
Legolas scrambled out of his father's lap and paced restlessly, clearly troubled. "How do you know?" he finally demanded, staring intently at his father. "How do you know that you won't leave me? Did Nana know?" He paused mid stride and whirled to face his father, horrified at the idea. "Did she know? Did she know and not say goodbye Ada?" he asked bitterly. Thranduil sighed and reached out taking Legolas's little hand in his. "Titenlaeglass do you really believe that? That your mother would leave you knowingly and not say farewell?"  
  
Legolas moaned. "I don't know what to believe!" he cried in despair. "I thought that elves lived for always and always and it is not so! I thought that Nana would always be with us and now she is not! I thought that the hurt would go away and it has not!" He looked at his father, tears breaking free and trickling down his face as he slumped to the floor. Thranduil looked at son sadly and reached down, pulling Legolas to his feet, trying to think of something to say to calm Legolas.  
  
Legolas looked at Thranduil through his tears. "Ada I miss her so much! It hurts whenever I think of her! And I can't stop thinking of her and it won't stop hurting!" he wept. Thranduil forced Legolas's face upward and stared into his son's vivid blue eyes intently. "Titenlaeglass listen to me. You will learn to live with the pain. You have no choice. Life goes on, it will not stop to wait for you. People die, it is the way of things," he said simply. Legolas stared at his father, desperately wanting to believe what he was being told.  
  
"But why did this happen to Nana?" he said softly. Thranduil looked at him wearily. How many times had Legolas asked him this same question and been told that spiders had attacked her? "The spiders…" he began then trailed off, as Legolas sighed and looked away. Realisation came to him. That was not what the child meant at all. He wanted to know why fate had taken his mother from him! All this time everyone had been misinterpreting what he had been asking.  
  
Legolas watched his father rise and bend down so that they were eye to eye. Thranduil studied Legolas face for a moment before speaking. "I do not know why the spiders attacked her. I do not know why Fate chose her. I do not know why she did not survive nor if she will return," he said as Legolas stared at him. Thranduil looked away then continued. "But I am sorry she cannot be with you anymore Legolas. I am sorry I cannot bring her back for you. I am sorry you will grow up not seeing her everyday." He forced himself to look at Legolas again. "I am sorry she will not be here, to be with you, to hold you, to wipe away your tears." Legolas gazed at his father sombrely, not knowing what to say. Thranduil looked into his sons blue eyes. "I am sorry Titenlaeglass!" he whispered, not knowing what else to tell him.  
  
Legolas stared at his father wide-eyed, bewildered at his father's words. He stepped toward Thranduil and wrapped his arms around his neck. "Don't be sorry Ada," he whispered, wanting very much to comfort his father. Thranduil sighed softly and wrapped his own arms around Legolas's small body, holding on to him tightly.  
  
Finally he stood up and pulled Legolas toward his bed. "Come along Titenlaeglass. It is late and you are tired." Legolas allowed himself to be tucked in, still contemplating his father's words. Thranduil stood at the doorway, watching as Legolas tossed and turned, trying to get comfortable. "Goodnight Titenlaeglass," he said turning away. Legolas sat up abruptly. "Ada!" he called.  
  
Thranduil paused, looking at him expectantly. Legolas looked at him nervously. "Are you sure that you won't ever leave?" he asked worriedly. Thranduil smiled at him. "Titenlaeglass, I have no intentions of leaving. Not even a thousand wardrobe monsters could make me," he said affectionately. Legolas smiled in relief. "Good," he mumbled sleepily as Thranduil shut the door. Yet he couldn't help giving the wardrobe one quick look to reassure himself that there were no monsters there. A little elf just couldn't be too careful when there might be sharp-toothed monster hiding in the wardrobe. 


	8. Fear

Thank you so much for the reviews and the criticism! Tis greatly appreciated.  
  
oooOOOooo  
  
Fear  
  
Legolas sat in a tree, humming softly to himself as he watched squirrels play nearby. He smiled as they jumped from branch to branch, squeaking furiously at each other. He'd been reflecting on what his father had said to him last night and he was worried. He had been stunned at his father's apology and troubled, he didn't want his Ada to be sad because of him. Though now he was not as reassured as he had been last night that his father said he would not leave him. Anything might happen to his Ada, taking him away. He didn't want to lose anyone else; he did not think he could bear it.  
  
He sensed a presence and glanced down to see Silagilgalad climbing upward toward him. He flashed her a smile as she settled on a branch near him. Of all his sisters, Silagilgalad was possibly his favourite. She was sweet and wise much like his mother. Plus she was the only one that had blonde hair like he did. His other two sisters had dark hair. She smiled back at him, pleasantly surprised. "Tis a relief to see you smile again Legolas. We are all so worried about you last night."  
  
He shrugged, not knowing what to say to that and looked for the squirrels again but they were gone now. Silagilgalad peered at him curiously when he didn't respond. "None of us like seeing you so miserable Legolas," she said softly, thinking of how sullen he'd been at supper last night. He looked straight ahead, his expression thoughtful. He was silent for so long that Silagilgalad thought maybe he wanted to be alone. She started to move away.  
  
"I wish she were here," he said suddenly. Silagilgalad paused and nodded in understanding, leaning against the tree trunk. "I know you do. We all do. But there is nothing we can do about it except accept what is," she said softly. His expression became pained and he bowed his head, willing back tears. Everyone else was being stoic, not showing their emotions and he refused to cry anymore. Silagilgalad looked at him and her heart melted as she watched him try not to start crying. She pulled him into her lap and he buried his face into her shoulder, thankful for the warm comfort of her arms. She was proud of him for trying so hard to be brave even though he clearly wanted to cry.  
  
Silagilgalad began talking as she carefully traced patterns on his back. "I remember when I was little, younger than you, there was a sparrow that sat on my windowsill every morning and sang as I woke up. He was a dear friend, telling me stories and songs and all sorts of gossip that Adar disapproved of me hearing. Then one day he was not singing when I woke up. He was so old; he'd died during the night." Legolas looked at her wide eyed with wonder. She didn't look at him as she continued. "I was so upset. You know what Naneth told me?" she asked, her hands ceasing their actions.  
  
Legolas shook his head as his back tingled. "What?" he asked. She smiled wistfully. "Those whom we love and lose are no longer where they were before. They are now wherever we are." Legolas smiled, liking that idea. "That sounds like something Nana would say," he said softly, resting his head against her. Silagilgalad chuckled. "As long as you remember her and love her, she knows it," Silagilgalad said gently, tucking a strand of hair behind his ear.  
  
Silagilgalad suddenly pointed to a scar on her arm, one that she'd gotten from Doronorn when a play fight had gotten out of control when they were little. "Legolas, death is like a wound. We all get them at some point in our lives and the big hurts – they leave a scar. The wound heals, the pain eases but the mark is always there. It makes us stronger," she told him. He reached out and gingerly touched the scar, his little fingers running over it delicately. "Are you sure?" he said doubtfully. He wasn't sure that the hurt would ever go away.  
  
Silagilgalad smiled and messed up his hair, causing him to frown in annoyance. "Would I lie to you?" she demanded, bemused at his irked expression. He was an odd little thing – he was perfectly content to go days without a bath yet hated people messing his hair up. He tilted his head, thinking it over then gave her a scathing glare. "Well there was that time you and Lhendglir told me that if I ate the seeds of an apple, I'd grow a apple tree in me."  
  
She burst into laughter. "I remember. The look on your face was priceless!" He huffed, indignantly. He'd been utterly horrified at the time, as he'd accidentally just swallowed a few. He'd gone crying to Thranduil who told the girls off for scaring him. She calmed and smiled at him in amusement. "Well I am not lying about this," she reassured him. He smiled in relief, pleased to hear that.  
  
Legolas rested against her, his fingers twirling in her hair. "But if elves are immortal then why can they die?" he asked quietly. She became thoughtful, perplexed at all his questions. She would have thought that their father would have answered all this for him. "It was just the way we are created I suppose. Bit like the mortal's belief that they think they will live forever when they know in their hearts they are doomed to die. We're not really immortal – just… our bodies are capable of death but our souls are not. That is what is immortal, our souls."  
  
Legolas frowned and looked up at her. "Humans truly think that?" he asked in disbelief. She laughed and nodded. "They are the most peculiar race I have ever encountered. Stranger than dwarves." He smiled as he settled against her again. He'd never encountered humans but as Dwarves were very odd then humans must be downright bizarre.  
  
He sighed unhappily and looked up at her, fearful thoughts entering his mind. "But what if Ada dies? Or you? Or Doronorn? Or Orchalorn? Or Lhendglir? Or Ballas? Or Bainalfirin? Then what?" he asked nervously. Silagilgalad considered. "Then that is something that we'll just have to deal with when it happens," she mused. Legolas was still troubled, not liking the idea that someone he loved could be taken from him so easily like his mother had been.  
  
"Do you think she'll come back?" he asked suddenly. Silagilgalad tilted her head, considering. "I'd like to think so but truthfully, I do not think she will. It just wouldn't be the same and she would know it," she said after a while. Legolas winced, not sure he wanted to hear that now that he had asked. Legolas sat there with her for a while, thinking of his mother. He missed her but everyone assured him that the hurt would pass. Maybe they were right and the pain would subside. He hoped so. For months all he had felt capable of doing was weeping as much as he tried not to and avoiding everyone to hide his grief.  
  
Silagilgalad shrugged. "Who knows? Perhaps we're guessing wrong and she will return." Legolas sighed in frustration at this. Was his mother gone forever? Should he mourn her like the rest of his siblings had done? Or should he wait, pray and hope that he would see her again? What if he waited and she never returned? What if he mourned her and she returned only to be taken from him again? His mind whirled with possibilities and he did not know what to do.  
  
He looked down distractedly as Ballas came striding up to the tree they were in. "Legolas! Adar wants to see you in the throne room!" he called up to them. Legolas looked at Silagilgalad questioningly but she simply shrugged, not knowing what Thranduil wanted with him. She watched as he scrambled out of the tree and then groaned as he landed in a puddle as he jumped from the last branch.  
  
"Truly Legolas! Of all the places to alight you select the mud?" she scolded. He glanced down at his muddied clothes and shrugged, not very bothered about it. Ballas laughed at him. "Such elven grace you possess Legolas," he teased. Legolas pulled a face that Thranduil had taught him when he was younger and rushed off to greet his father in the throne room.  
  
He hesitated by the door and peeked in the throne room, watching as Thranduil spoke with numerous officials. Thranduil spotted Legolas's face poking around the doors and waved the officials out, desiring to speak with his son without the prying eyes of his court nearby. Legolas walked in with his head held high in a most princely fashion and Thranduil raised an eyebrow at his son's filthy appearance.  
  
"Been playing in the mud again Legolas?" he asked dryly, refusing to allow his disapproval show through. Legolas smiled sheepishly in response, knowing it was there as much as his father refrained from letting it show. He'd been scolded dozens of times before about entering the throne room in such a state. Thranduil shook his head as he moved toward his throne. Legolas stood quietly with his arms behind his back, remembering the proper behaviour that was expected of him in the throne room. Thranduil sat and looked at Legolas intently, pleased that he remembered how to behave in the throne room. "How are you this morning Titenlaeglass?"  
  
Legolas kept his eyes lowered. "I am… I am…" He struggled to think of the right words to describe how he felt. He couldn't think of them as Thranduil waited patiently. Finally all he could think of to say was "Tired." Thranduil smiled slightly. "Well, you were awake late last night. I am not surprised," he said dryly, holding out his hand. Legolas obediently stepped closer and took the offered hand and Thranduil pulled him closer. "But that was not quite the answer I was looking for Titenlaeglass," he said gently, stooping to get eye to eye to his son. Legolas nodded. "I know Ada," he sighed not really wanting to answer. He looked up at his father, desperate to steer the conversation away from him. "How are you then?" he asked softly.  
  
Thranduil leaned back in his throne and watched Legolas's face knowing very well what his son was doing. "I am very worried about my youngest child. He is very sad because he misses his mother. " Legolas bowed his head, ashamed for upsetting his father. Thranduil reached out and forced Legolas's head up so he could look him in the eye. "I do not want him to be sad," he said gently, searching his child's face for any indication to his thoughts. He quickly got his response however unwanted it was. Legolas stared at him, pained beyond words. Thranduil lifted him up, ignoring the mud, and cradled him in his lap. "I am very worried about you Titenlaeglass. It scares me to see one of my children so miserable."  
  
Legolas forgot his sorrow briefly and looked up at his father in astonishment. "But you're not scared of anything Ada!" he exclaimed. Thranduil smiled slightly. "Well I am now Titenlaeglass. Your behaviour and sorrow frightens me." Legolas rested against his father chest, his eyes closed. "I don't want to upset you Ada," he said in a small voice. Thranduil sighed wearily. "I am not upset with you Titenlaeglass. I am upset with myself because I do not know how to help you."  
  
Thranduil looked down at him, wishing desperately for the happy and innocent child Legolas had been months ago instead of this heavyhearted child. Legolas said nothing merely sat in his father's lap. He began to fidget after a while, toying with Thranduil's hair. Thranduil did not push him away as he might have done so in the past. He simply watched in curiosity as Legolas lifted his hand up and placed his own small one palm to palm with his. Thranduil watched quizzically as Legolas stared at their hands for a moment with a frown, and then was distracted by an old scar on Thranduil's wrist. He pulled his hand away and touched it reverently his eyes intent on the scar. Thranduil wondered what he was doing. Why would this old mark fascinate him so?  
  
"Silagilgalad said that death is like a wound. It leaves a mark but stops hurting." He raised his head to look at his father. "Is that so?" he demanded. Thranduil tilted his head, considering. "That is an abstract way of putting it. But yes – the death of someone is like a wound to the soul. Hurts for a while and leaves a mark." He wasn't sure if he approved of Legolas being told such things. He was confused enough as it was. Legolas frowned, trying to make sense of everything he had been told. Elves could die. His mother was dead. He understood that she was not coming back to him. Or was she? That troubled him, the not knowing. He looked up at Thranduil.  
  
"Will Nana come back?"  
  
Thranduil sighed and shook his head. "I do not know Titenlaeglass. That is a mystery to me." Legolas sighed. "Then I should mourn her like you all have? I should give up hope of ever seeing her again?" He looked at his father with a tortured gaze. "What should I do?"  
  
Thranduil looked at him helplessly. "Titenlaeglass I cannot tell you what to do! It is something that you must choose yourself! If you believe in your heart that you will see her again then do not deny yourself that hope. But if you believe differently then do not deny yourself that either!" Legolas searched his face for a minute then looked away. He was confused, miserable and weary. He did not know what to think at the moment. Thranduil sighed. "What can I do to cheer you up Titenlaeglass?"  
  
Legolas looked at him briefly then crawled off his lap. He began walking toward the door. He wanted to curl up in a corner and hold onto Naurthûl and think. Thranduil watched him move toward the door. He rose and glanced at his now dirtied robes and frowned with impatience. "Legolas!" he said sharply. Legolas paused instantly and looked back at his father expectantly. Thranduil stared at him. "You did not answer me."  
  
Legolas shrugged despondently. "You cannot give me what I want Ada. So why bother asking for it?" he said dully. Thranduil looked at him in surprised, startled by the sorrow in his son's voice. He said nothing as Legolas exited the throne room. He looked at his clothes and went to change.  
  
He caught sight of Silagilgalad in the halls as he made his way to his chambers. He paused, thinking then walked in her direction instead. "Gîliell!" he called, using an old pet name. She turned in surprise, not having been called that in a long time. "Yes Adar?" she asked, curious. She wondered what had made him call her a pet name that he'd not called her in centuries. He stood in front of her. "What did you talk to Legolas about?" he demanded.  
  
She blinked and tilted her head, trying to ascertain where this conversation was headed. "Why do you want to know?" she asked carefully. Thranduil looked at her as if she were a lowly dwarf. "Why do you think? I am worried about him! I want him to be happy!"  
  
Silagilgalad nodded in understanding. "You want the old Legolas back," she stated calmly. He nodded. "Of course I do!" She smiled sadly. "That Legolas is gone Adar. How can you expect him to be the same after something like this? For the first time in his life there is uncertainty. He knows now that people he loves can be taken from him and he's scared. He's terrified that any of us might leave him," she exclaimed. Thranduil looked at her grimly. She stared back at him. "All you feel is his sorrow. But all I can sense is his fear," she said quietly.  
  
He sighed and ran his hands through his hair in frustration. "I do not know how to help him and it is driving me mad!" he growled irritably. She smiled affectionately. "Adar. Do not worry so. He is young but he is clever. He will figure out a way to deal with it when he is ready. He just needs time, patience and our love. That is all we can offer him."  
  
Thranduil looked at her and smiled tiredly, knowing in his heart that she was right. "How is that you are so wise Silagilgalad?" he asked. She laughed and kissed his cheek. "I had a wonderful mother. My father on the other hand…" He smiled at her teasing. He bowed as he walked away from her. He was tempted to go find Legolas then decided not to. He'd ordered his officials away and they still had to be dealt with. 


	9. Namaarie

Thank you for the reviews! // signal the start of a flashback and \\ signal the end of it. There are a few flashbacks as well so let me know if it gets hard to follow and I'll revise it. There is a fair bit of mushiness in this chapter too – I wasn't in the mood for writing angst.  
  
oooOOOooo  
  
Namaarie  
  
Legolas sat in his room, curled up a soft chair, Naurthûl nearly crushed against him. He gnawed on the toy's fabric ear, lost in his thoughts. His mother was gone. Quite possibly for a very long time, if not forever. He sighed, feeling tears begin to slide down his cheeks. Could he hold onto the hope that she was coming back? He sighed softly, thinking of her. The way she use to fix her hair every morning, the way her eyes crinkled when she smiled, the musical sound of her laughter, the softness of her skin, the brightness of her eyes…  
  
// Melethmir lifted a section of hair, twisting it artfully. She glanced down at the table in front of her, scanning it for the comb she wanted to use. She frowned, unable to find it. She glanced down at her feet where Legolas sat at her feet, babbling to himself happily. Legolas looked up at her and grinned, the comb sticking out of his mouth as he chewed on it. She sighed and reached down to take it off him. "Legolas. You shouldn't put this in your mouth. What would I do with you if you swallowed it?" she admonished with a smile. Thranduil laughed behind her, he had yet to get out of bed. "You'd have to get another comb for your hair I should think."  
  
Melethmir smiled as she tried to wrestle the comb from Legolas, careful not to hurt his few baby teeth. He furrowed his brow, shaking his head wildly, not wanting to give up his new chew toy. She gripped it firmly for a few minutes as he shook his head trying to get her to loosen her grip on it. She raised an eyebrow. "I take it then that I'm not getting my comb back?" she sighed as he smiled, happy at having gotten what he wanted. She watched him gnaw on it. If he were teething she'd have to get him something proper to chew at. "Well then," she said reaching for him again, "I shall just have to tickle you into submission!" Legolas's head bolted upright, recognizing the word 'tickle'. He squealed in outrage as her fingers tickled him, not realising as he squirmed wildly that the comb tumbled out of his mouth.  
  
She laughed and gingerly held up the comb with the tips of her fingers, trying to avoid the parts covered with baby slobber. She crinkled her nose. "I shall wear my hair down today now that I think about it," she said dryly, setting it on the dresser. She ignored Thranduil's laughter. Legolas pushed himself upright shakily and reached out for it, whimpering. "Wa!" he squealed, unable to say the word 'want', his little hands opening and closing quickly, indicating just as much. Melethmir glanced at him. "No Legolas. Nana's hair things are not toys."  
  
Legolas huffed. "Wa!" he said again and stamped a foot, promptly falling on his backside. He had only starting walking a few weeks ago and was not yet steady on his feet. He blinked in surprise and opened his mouth, letting out a howl of surprise, despite the fact that he had not hurt himself. Melethmir tittered and scooped him up, carrying him over to the bed and placing him on his father's lap. Legolas continued wailing as he looked at his father, still upset about falling over.  
  
Thranduil smiled at him, wiping away his few tears. "Not having a good morning are you Titenlaeglass?" Legolas's wailing continued so Thranduil scanned the bed for a toy to distract him. For some reason, Legolas had brought the better part of his toy chest in with him when he decided to start playing with his parents before dawn. They'd woken up with him sitting on the end of their bed, surrounded by toys, eager to play already. He lifted up a toy dragon and pressed its nose to Legolas's face. "Here, Naurthûl isn't crying. Why is Titenlaeglass all upset? Hmmm?" he crooned. Legolas's wailing died down as he focused on the toy.  
  
He smiled slowly and reached for it, wrapping his fingers around its ears, cooing softly, his tears forgotten. Thranduil let him pull it away and looked over to Melethmir. "How do you suppose he got out of his room?" He suppressed a yawn. "And what on earth made him think that we'd want to play at this hour?" Melethmir laughed. "Who knows? At least he won't struggle when he has a nap later. Unlike yesterday." Thranduil had heard Legolas's cries of protest at being put down for a nap from the throne room.  
  
Thranduil smiled affectionately at his youngest child. "Been misbehaving for your mother Titenlaeglass?" he teased, ruffling the child's hair. Legolas glanced up. "No," he huffed, reaching to try and smooth his hair. He only managed to mess it up more. Thranduil laughed, amused that he'd already picked up on the word 'no'. It was fast becoming his favourite word too. No to his naps and no to his food. He watched as Legolas played with his toys, babbling to them in a language only he could understand.  
  
Melethmir finished with her hair and sat on the edge of the bed. He crawled over to her and looked up at her to show her Naurthûl. She leaned forward and touched his forehead with hers, watching as his face lit up in pleasure. "You go tell your Ada to get out of bed," she said playfully. Legolas giggled and turned, crawling back to his father. "Up Ada," he said firmly, pulling Thranduil's hand. Thranduil smiled and tickled him, laughing as Legolas squealed and kicked wildly. "No!" he shrieked. Thranduil obediently stopped the tickling. Panting with laughter, Legolas looked at him excitedly. Thranduil grinned and promptly started tickling him again. "No! No!" squealed the squirming child.  
  
After his laughter subsided, Legolas pulled insistently on his father's hand again. "Ada. No bed!" he ordered. Thranduil smiled and stood up, pulling Legolas with him. He twisted him upside down and grinned as Legolas laughed from his upside down position. Melethmir laughed. "Careful – you'll make the poor child sick doing that!" Thranduil set him down, laughing as Legolas took a few sluggish steps and dropped down, blinking with a confused look on his face. Melethmir scooped him up and kissed his nose. "Did your mean Ada make you all dizzy?" she cooed. Legolas smiled up at her and wrapped his arms around her neck. She looked at the toys on the bed. "I'd better get all these back to your room," she said brightly. Melethmir tried to set him down but he clung to her neck, giggling softly. She pried him off and started gathering the toys up. She glanced up as he wandered off, uninterested in cleaning up.  
  
She straightened up in time to watch him toddle out the door, a devious grin on his face. She frowned. Thranduil looked over at her and took a toy from her to make it seem as though he were lending a helping hand. "What is it?" he asked, noticing her expression. Melethmir indicated her dresser. "The little devil took my comb again." \\  
  
Legolas smiled at the memory. How many times had he done that when he was younger? Taken in all his toys with him on his parent's bed, waiting for them to wake up to play with him and biting into that same comb much to his mother's annoyance. It had gotten so worn from his teeth that Melethmir had given up wearing it. He gripped Naurthûl tightly, suddenly wishing for the familiar comb again. What he wouldn't give to have just one more morning like that. Maybe he would…  
  
His tears fell freely now as he glanced at the tattered images on his walls. He could not do this. It was too difficult for him. He could not keep alive this hope that his mother might return to him. He had to let go of her. Legolas whimpered to himself, not wanting to do such a thing. But he had to – the sorrow he felt was consuming him. He sat upright and wiped his eyes, trying to clear his vision, his mind made up.  
  
He slipped out of the chair and walked toward his father's chamber. He pushed the door open, confidant that his father was not in here. He was right as Thranduil was not to be seen. Legolas moved toward the mirror table that had been his mother's. He scrambled onto the little seat as he had done so many times before and scanned the tabletop for the comb. Everything had been placed into boxes, hidden from view but was all still there much to his relief. He lifted the top to one of the many boxes that lined the table until he found what he was looking for.  
  
It had been beautiful once, delicately carved out of the softest wood with perfectly rendered pictures etched into it. Now it was twisted and gnarled, the pictures obscured, covered with little indents from his teeth. He lifted it up delicately, as if afraid that it may break. He studied it intently, every detail familiar to him. He smiled slowly, remembering his mother's sighs as she declared that it was nothing more than a chew toy now and unwearable.  
  
Pleased with himself he crept out of his father's room, praying no one saw him. He took his new treasure outside, slipping out unnoticed. He looked around, pleased that no one was there. Usually there were dozens of elves milling around but not today. He began walking, not quite sure where he was headed. He just wanted to walk and think, clutching the comb tightly in his hands, turning it over and over, running his fingers over the little bumps and grooves.  
  
// Thranduil sighed with annoyance as Legolas scampered under his feet yet again, delighting in his new found game. Various officials chuckled at the expression on his face. He looked around for Melethmir to get her to take him away. Why was he out of her sight anyway? He could not see one of his other children nor a caretaker. Which meant the little rascal had run off on them. He hoisted his son into his arms and tried to focus on the task at hand. Legolas wriggled furiously, wanting to play, not be held. He whined loudly in protest, increasing Thranduil's irritation.  
  
Thranduil sighed in relief as Melethmir came in. "Melethril – come take Legolas away. He's getting underfoot," he called over to her. Legolas let out a wail of protest as he was taken from his father. He wanted to play! She carried him out of the throne room, howling furiously. Legolas stared at his father over his mother shoulder, his lower lip sticking out, crocodile tears forming. Thranduil watched them go and flashed Legolas a quick smile. It did nothing to quiet him down though.  
  
"No more tears Legolas," his mother said brightly hoping to distract him, "We're going outside." Legolas perked up at the word 'outside'. She carried him out and set him down, holding onto his hand in case he decided to dash back inside. He'd done that earlier and she had been unable to find him. She was relieved that he was with his father and not wandering out here unattended. Legolas looked around with wide-eyed interest. She smiled down at him. Where do you want go little one?" she asked. She chuckled as he followed a butterfly toward a path.  
  
Melethmir walked along behind him on the old path, singing softly occasionally, more often pausing her song to listen to the trees. Legolas toddled along, frequently stopping to investigate one thing after the other. He lifted up leaves, sticks, pebbles and the odd insect, always setting them back carefully. He watched utterly enchanted, as a ladybeetle scurried along his arm. He rushed over to show his mother, extending his hand toward her to show her the little orange and black beetle. He squealed excitedly as it flew away suddenly.  
  
He smiled brightly up at his mother and slipped his hand into hers, leading her down the path. She smiled back at him and gripped it tightly. He paused at the foot of a huge old beech tree and struggled to see the top. To his little height the tree seemed to reach the clouds! Melethmir sat on the ground resting against it and pulled him into her lap. He snuggled up against her instantly, delighted at the warm loving comfort of her arms. Melethmir pointed at the tree. "That tree has been here for as long as I can remember," she whispered to him. He wasn't sure what she was talking about but he liked the awed tone of her voice. She brushed his hair back gently and he instantly tried to fix it. She laughed. 'You must have learned that from one of your brothers!" He looked back at her, puzzled, not quite sure what she meant.  
  
She smiled and tapped his nose, watching him go cross-eyed as he tried to follow her finger. He blinked, trying to clear his vision and looked up at her balefully with his large blue eyes. Another butterfly drew his attention away from her. "Go play my little one," she said lovingly and watched him as he crawled away to follow it. He tried to jump so he could catch it. He fell over instead but didn't take his eyes off it, simply watched in wonder as it fluttered around his head then was carried off in the breeze. Melethmir's smile never waned as he pottered around, lifting up pebbles and leaves to study, then delicately setting them down again. He shrieked with laughter as a family of rabbits scampered away from him after he tried to pull their little tails.  
  
After awhile Legolas came back over to her and curled up in her lap, tired and wanting a nap. She ran her fingers over his face and he smiled up at her. Melethmir pressed a kiss to his forehead. "I love you my little one," she whispered in his ear. He cooed back in return, recognising the words and understanding them. \\  
  
Legolas stopped in front of the ancient tree from his memory. He'd grown since then but the tree still seemed to reach the clouds. He wondered how long ago that day had been, when he'd annoyed his father and his mother had followed him here as he explored the forest. He glanced around, the trees whispering softly to each other and was satisfied that no one was around. He looked down at the comb in his hands. He ran his fingers over it and sat down, still staring at the comb.  
  
He felt that something ought to be said though he could not think of any words to say. He stared at the comb, thinking of his mother and how happy he'd been when she was with him. He smiled slowly, these memories making him happy. He wasn't sure how long he sat at the base of the ancient beech tree, simply gazing at the comb and thinking of his mother.  
  
He didn't notice the sun sink beyond the horizon, the sky shift from vivid blue to lavender then to the dark inkiness of the night sky. He didn't notice the stars appear one by one, glimmering silently so high above him. He simply focused on the comb and his thoughts.  
  
Thranduil paced restlessly, growing more anxious with every passing moment. Legolas had not shown up for dinner. When Thranduil had gone looking for him he had not been in his room. Now all his family was searching the vast rooms, searching for him. Thranduil did not like this. Legolas might be anywhere! He had loved playing hide and seek and knew how to hide for hours if need be.  
  
// Thranduil looked calmly at Bainalfirin and Ballas. "What do you mean you cannot find Legolas?" he repeated slowly. Ballas looked nervously at him. "We taught him how to play Hide and Seek…and we were looking for him. But we can't find him anyplace!" he complained. Bainalfirin was clearly upset as well. "We though he'd be easy to find! He's not!" she confessed, distressed over losing her beloved younger brother. Thranduil raised an eyebrow, amused yet concerned.  
  
Thranduil figured that the little elf could be anywhere. He glanced around. "Well I suggest that you start searching each room carefully," he said darkly. They nodded and rushed off to start looking. Thranduil scanned the throne room as if Legolas might be hiding in there. He wandered through the rooms, peering under tables and behind tapestries. "Thranduil, what are you doing?"  
  
He straightened up and looked at Melethmir. She had her eyebrow raised at him, clearly wondering what he was up to. He smiled apologetically. "Ballas and Bainalfirin taught him how to play Hide and Seek. We're currently seeking as he's hidden himself so well," he told her dryly. She laughed at him. "Well good luck with that. I should think that you would need it."  
  
Thranduil glared at her. "I can track a falcon on a cloudy day and you wish me luck?" he demanded. She grinned at him. "Oh indeed. Falcons are easy compared to Legolas," she taunted playfully. He smiled slowly. "Is that a challenge?" Melethmir smiled back at him cunningly. "Perhaps. Let me know where you find him." She turned and walked away.  
  
Thranduil considered that. He would have to clarify those terms later. He had a son to find. He stood in a hallway, annoyed. He'd lost count of the rooms he searched and still no Legolas. Where could he possibly be, he thought crossly. He sighed in frustration and stormed into his room. Melethmir sat in the corner chair reading a book. She glanced up and smiled in amusement. "Found him yet?"  
  
"No," Thranduil said shortly. She tittered and returned to her book. He spun on heel and was about to storm out when "You know, when I played that game when I was a child, my favourite hiding place was under the bed." He paused and looked at her. She hadn't looked up from her book. He frowned suspiciously and got down on all fours to check under their bed.  
  
Legolas was there sound asleep, curled up with Naurthûl in his arms. Thranduil sighed impatiently. "Little devil," he muttered affectionately as he reached under and slowly pulled him out, careful not to wake him. He lifted him up and looked a Melethmir. She glanced at him then looked back at her book. "You might not want it getting out that the King of Mirkwood was outsmarted by a elf child." \\  
  
He doubted that was where Legolas was now. He could hear his older children calling out to each other that Legolas was not in this room, nor that room. He bit his lip, very worried. What if he had gone outside and a spider had gotten him? Or worse – an orc. He strode out and scanned the dark night forest. He paused listening to the sigh of the trees. They whispered of a little elf, curled up and unmoving near an ancient beech tree. The little elf had been there for many hours now. He tensed but knew which old beech tree they spoke of. He strode swiftly down the old path, praying that Legolas was there and was safe.  
  
He froze, alarmed when he saw the little figure curled up on the ground. "Legolas?" he whispered in alarm. He rushed over to him and bent down. Legolas stirred and looked up at him. "Ada?" he mumbled sleepily. Thranduil pulled him into his arms, thankful he was unharmed. "I was worried about you Titenlaeglass, I did not know where you were!" he said softly pulling away to look at his face. Legolas blinked in surprise, realising it was dark. "I didn't know the sun went down!" he exclaimed. He looked apologetically at his father. "I'm sorry Ada, I didn't mean to stay out this long."  
  
Thranduil smiled in relief. "Tis alright Titenlaeglass. As long as you're safe, tis all that matters to me." He stood up and started to lead Legolas back inside where he would be safe. "Wait Ada!" Legolas broke away and laid the hair comb at the foot of the tree. He stared at it solemnly for a moment then looked up at his father. "Ada what is the Quenya word for goodbye?" he asked softly. If he was going to farewell his mother then he would use the words of his ancestors, he decided. Thranduil looked at his son. "Namaarie," he said simply.  
  
Legolas nodded slowly and looked at the comb that lay at the foot of the tree. He reached up and took his father's hand, his eyes never leaving the comb. "Namaarie Nana," he said lovingly, feeling as though a great burden was being lifted from his shoulders. Thranduil looked at the comb then at Legolas, saying nothing, simply squeezing his hand tightly to reassure him. After a while Legolas looked up at him. "I'm ready now Ada," he said simply. Thranduil smiled at him and led him home. 


	10. Epilogue

Epilogue  
  
Legolas rubbed his eyes sleepily and sat up, looking for Naurthûl. The toy dragon lay on the floor. Legolas pushed the blankets back and dropped onto the floor, lifting the toy up and giving it a hug. "Naurthûl, why are you on the floor?" he crooned to the toy then set it on the bed with loving care. He walked over to the wardrobe and paused before opening it. He looked over to the toy dragon that stared back at him with its bead eyes. "The monster isn't in there in during the day is it?" he asked warily wondering if such things were so.  
  
Naurthûl made no response either way. Legolas decided to brave it. He flung the doors open and yelped in surprise when a pile of toys that he'd hurriedly put in there last night fell on top of him. He sat up straight and looked at the pile of toys around him indignantly. He heard laughter and looked at Naurthûl in surprise - since when could the toy dragon laugh?  
  
It took him a few seconds to realise that it was Silagilgalad, standing in the doorway that was laughing at him. He blinked and gave her a dirty look. She feigned horror at his glare. "Oh if such dark looks could wound!" she chuckled as she stepped into his room and walked over to help him pick them up. "That will teach you to put your toys away properly when asked," she said airily.  
  
Legolas doubted it.  
  
After the toys were put away properly and he was dressed, she led him outside before breakfast to keep him from annoying the rising members of the household, as he was wont to do. "Don't wander off Legolas," she warned, remembering Thranduil's reaction when disappeared the other day. Silagilgalad was distracted by a gossiping group of birds, letting her attention drift from her younger brother as he looked around.  
  
Legolas was utterly delighted. It must have rained during the night because there were mud puddles everywhere! He pried his elf shoes off, setting them on the steps lest they get dirty and rushed over and jumped in the middle of the nearest one, then jumped to the next. He relished the feel of the mud as between his toes as it was cool and soft. An idea hit him and he ran inside, leaving a trail of muddy footprints in his wake.  
  
He ventured into the kitchen and looked around. Numerous elves were fussing around the breakfast they were making but the didn't notice him. He brightened, spying a great big pie dish that he cold use. He grabbed it and took it back outside and sat in the mud. He picked up great big goopy handfuls and patted them down with great precision.  
  
His nose itched. He scratched as he stood up, looking for some fallen leaves and sticks to decorate it. He found some oak leaves and artfully set them in the top of the mud, proud of his creation. He looked up and saw Silagilgalad was still talking with the birds, not paying attention to him.  
  
He shrugged and lifted the dish, surprised at how heavy it was. Nonetheless he carried it into the dining room. The table was set, simply awaiting the royal family to sit so that the food could be set out. Legolas staggered over to the table and set the heavy dish next to his father's seat. He frowned, seeing something wrong with the picture. The food always went in the middle of the table so that everyone could reach. Legolas decided that this problem was easily remedied. He scrambled onto Thranduil's chair and cautiously pulled himself up onto the tabletop. He lifted the dish and set it in the middle of the table and jumped down.  
  
Legolas was certain everyone would appreciate his efforts to serve them breakfast. In his haste to get outside to tell Silagilgalad what he had done, he fell over in the slippery mud. He let out a yell of surprise and sat up, mud dripping off him. Silagilgalad turned around and groaned, staring at her mud covered sibling. She excused herself from the birds and walked over to him, her hands on her hips. "Legolas Greenleaf – is there no common sense in that head of yours?" she demanded, reaching down to lift him up then pausing, having no desire to get mud on herself. Legolas pouted at her scolding– he had not meant to fall over! Silagilgalad was not done with him yet it seemed. "Now you'll have to have a bath before breakfast and we'll be late now." She sighed and gave up – he was an utter mess. She grabbed his hand and dragged him inside, trying to ignore the dark footprints he was leaving.  
  
She was almost to his room when she heard Thranduil yell from the dining room. She paused and looked suspiciously at Legolas. "What have you done now you little goblin?" she demanded. He looked at her indignantly, resenting the name. She dragged him to the dining room and her mouth fell open in shock.  
  
There was a mudpie on the table, in a pie dish no less surrounded by Legolas sized footprints and Thranduil's chair was covered in muddy footprints as well. The King whirled to look at them, taking in the sight of his mud-covered son, his face dark with fury. Silagilgalad grimaced and hurriedly dragged Legolas back to his room, praying her sisters could calm Thranduil.  
  
"Perhaps we won't be as late to breakfast as I first thought Legolas."  
  
It was late in the afternoon when Legolas leaned against the throne room doors, wondering what his father was going to say to him. His special breakfast had not quite gone as he'd intended. After Silagilgalad had dragged him off to have a bath and she'd ordered him to stay in his room. Normally he wouldn't have listened. He'd refused to come out of his room for months and he had no great desire to stay in there now but something about the look on his Ada's face made him stay in there.  
  
He now had a sneaking suspicion that his Ada was not too keen on mudpie.  
  
He stepped back as officials walked out, talking to each other. They saw him and bowed their heads in his direction then turned to each other whispering about the 'mud incident' that had placed Thranduil in a foul mood all day. Legolas bowed back and grimaced. If Ada was cranky then he must be in big trouble. He stuck his head in as the last elf left, looking around the vast throne room for his Ada. Thranduil was clearly waiting and waved him in. He didn't look happy either – in fact he looked infuriated. Legolas walked in, head held high and stopped by his father, hands behind his back and eyes cast downward. Thranduil didn't say anything. After several minutes silence Legolas couldn't take it any more. He raised his head and looked at his father uncertainly, hoping he wasn't about to be punished to severely.  
  
Thranduil stared at him sternly; bewildered that this same little elf that had decided that mudpie should be on the menu for that morning's breakfast had not a week ago been scaring him with his sullen and tearful behaviour. Whatever it was that Legolas had done the other day while out in the forest with that old hair comb of Melethmir's had done him good. The turnabout was incredible. It was a great relief – or it had been until he discovered his mud-covered chair that morning.  
  
He kept the stern look on his face and walked over to a nearby table and lifted a bow and quiver of arrows off it. They were brilliantly made and a good deal smaller than a normal elven bow. Legolas looked at the bow in trepidation, wondering what his father was going to do. Thranduil weighed the bow and quiver in his hands. "What do you think of them Legolas?" he asked, not looking at the little elf.  
  
Legolas looked at them, wondering where this was leading. He wasn't an expert on weapons, he preferred his toys to such things but his brothers would sometimes take him out to show him. Once Ballas and Bainalfirin had thought it amusing to make Legolas stand perfectly still so that they could shoot an apple off the top of his head. Their mother had caught them and Thranduil had punished them for that one. He studied it then looked at his father. "It's beautiful Ada," he said softly.  
  
Thranduil smiled slightly. "I am glad you think so Titenlaeglass," he said studying it in approval. He looked down at him and offered it. "Tis yours now." Legolas looked at his father in utter shock. "Mine?" he exclaimed in surprise, wondering what he had done to deserve such a gift. He'd thought he was about to be punished, not receive gifts! His face lit up in delight.  
  
Thranduil nodded absently. "Your mother asked the craftsman to make it for you, just before she died. It was finished yesterday. She thought you would like to start learning archery as you love being outside so much," he said affectionately, handing it to the awe struck elf child. Legolas reached for it tentatively, his eyes as wide as saucers. Thranduil's gentle attitude shifted abruptly and he held it just out of his reach. "But after today's…behaviour –" Legolas's face fell. "- It now comes with a few conditions."  
  
Legolas looked at him nervously. "What Ada?" he asked timidly. His siblings often complained about Thranduil harsh punishments. Thranduil straightened, fixing him with a strict glare. "Firstly, you will have a bath everyday without any complaints. Secondly, the paintings in your room will be restored and you will try to keep your room in a respectable state. And thirdly – there will be absolutely no more mudpies at the table. Is this understood Legolas Greenleaf?"  
  
Legolas bit his lip and nodded. Thranduil raised an eyebrow expectantly. Legolas stood up straight and looked him in the eye. "I understand Ada," he said firmly. Thranduil smiled and his demeanour softened. "I am glad to hear it." He held out the bow again and Legolas took it, a bewildered look on his face.  
  
Legolas gazed at the bow in wonder, running his hands over the skilfully made object, studying the elegant patterns and inscriptions, trying to figure out what they said, and pulling the string back as he had seen his father and brothers do with their bows. He dragged his gaze from his new gift to look at his father. "I don't know what to say… it's a wonderful gift Ada. Thank you." He cringed. "I'm sorry about the mudpie though."  
  
Thranduil smiled and ruffled his hair affectionately. "Tis alright. Though I think you might have to apologise to the cooks for dirtying their dish." Legolas nodded and focused on the bow again. Thranduil indicated the gift. "It was your mother's idea not mine. But I am glad you like it Titenlaeglass. Your mother was hoping you would. She thought you as more of an archer than a swordsman," he said fondly, amused that Legolas didn't even notice that he had messed his hair. He sank to his knee to look Legolas in the eye. "I know not what you did out in the woods the other day…but I am glad you did it. Tis nice to have my happy if mischievous Titenlaeglass back." Legolas smiled at his father and leaned over to hug him. Thranduil pulled back first. "Would you like to go outside and practice with it now?" he asked, smiling.  
  
Legolas was practically hopping from foot to foot with excitement. "Yes!" he squealed. Thranduil followed him outside and found a quiet place for Legolas to practice on targets. He set them up and showed Legolas how to use his bow properly. Legolas listened intently and copied the movements of his father, swiftly getting the hang for his new bow.  
  
Thranduil was impressed with how quickly he picked it up, especially as he was still so young. "Your mother was right – you are a natural archer," he said with paternal pride. Legolas smiled, pleased to hear that. "She thought so?" he asked, pulling the string back and taking careful aim. Thranduil nodded. "Indeed she did," he said as Legolas let the arrow fly, missing by a mile.  
  
Silagilgalad appeared and watched for a while as Thranduil taught Legolas how to use his bow. She smiled, greatly pleased that he now had something to focus on. Better than his 'cooking attempts' anyway. She was aware of the rest of her sibling creeping closer to watch the little prince practice with his new gift. Doronorn raised an eyebrow. "For such a sapling he's good at this," he murmured as impressed with Legolas's natural skill with the bow as the rest of them.  
  
Lhendglir nodded in agreement. "Even you didn't pick it up that fast Orchalorn," she whispered to her other brother. He smiled as Legolas let loose another arrow. "That's cause Doronorn kept swapping my arrows with trick ones. The arrows just flopped instead of lying straight." Ballas grinned impishly, liking that idea. "I shall have to remember that one. Do you think Adar would be very angry if I swapped his?" Bainalfirin giggled and looked at him. "Do it. I dare you," she challenged, her eyes dark with mischief. Ballas smirked, never one to back down from a dare. "Consider it done then." He ran off.  
  
Silagilgalad rolled her eyes. "Must you encourage his tricks?" she asked scoldingly. Doronorn snorted and smirked at her. "Must be where Legolas got his mudpie idea from." Lhendglir laughed. "I shall never forget the look on Adar's face for as long as I live!" Bainalfirin nodded, a devious grin on her face. "How else can we keep Adar on his toes? He'll get lazy if we stop pulling tricks on him." Orchalorn snickered. "I can't wait to see what punishment he gets though." Bainalfirin grinned impishly at him. "That's part of the fun." They were all relieved that Legolas was much happier now – more like his usual cheery self. They cheered as he let another arrow fly even though it missed  
  
Legolas looked up at his father. "Should we tell them that we can hear them?"" he whispered. Thranduil glanced over his shoulder to look at his older children as they watched the archery lesson. "I say we let them figure it out for themselves," he decided, sharing a mischievous look with his bow-wielding son. He wondered how he had managed to raise a family of tricksters and figured that they must have gotten it from their mother's side. Legolas smiled, reaching for another arrow then paused looking up at his father "That monster in the wardrobe will be scared of me now right Ada?"  
  
Thranduil looked down at him, pushing the tip off his arrow a little more to the left. He smiled as it flew, getting much closer to the target than the earlier attempts. Legolas grinned with pride. Thranduil sighed softly, thrilled –despite the mud – that Legolas was getting over his grief.  
  
"I have no doubt that the monster in you wardrobe will be utterly terrified Titenlaeglass."  
  
OooOOOooo  
  
And on that note – tis the end.  
  
Thank you very much for the positive reviews!!  
  
*blushes*  
  
Erm … Sorry to those that said they 'cried' though. I didn't mean to upset anyone. I simply wanted to write a bittersweet story about my favourite elf. I got rather mushy toward the end though.  
  
*bit sheepish*  
  
Thanks a bunch for reading – I hoped you enjoyed it.  
  
Jade 


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